Feel like giving up / first post

[Blackoreo]

Hi!

This is my first post here so Im sorry if its in a wrong place or something :/

I have been in a long distance relationship for over a year now. He is from the UK and I am from Europe. I am 21 and he is 23. We met online.

We have met every month this past year, I visit him every other month and he visits me every other month. But recently there have been money issues so we had to skip a month and now I have recently just got back from visiting him and I have no idea when I will see him next.

I feel like theres no hope for us. I honestly cant do long distance any longer it makes me so sad and depressed. I am in a position where I can move to him but I cant move somewhere alone and currently he does not have enough income to rent with me.

I feel like we will never be able to close the gap. And its such a depressing thought that everytime I see him and spend time with him I know it will end with a goodbye. Every single time. Im tired of goodbyes and I need certainity that I will see him soon and that we will close the gap this year. But I cant have that reassurance as circumstances dont allow it.

I dont want to lose him but Im not sure if Im strong enough for long distance and constant goodbyes

[Redheart14]

Hi and welcome.
Feeling like this is completely normal. LDR's are not for everyone for that reason. Having an end date is important as the longer you stay in an LDR the harder it gets. What does your partner think about you moving? I think both parties need to be happy with it in order to have things work. Also, is there job opportunities available for you? If money is already tight for him, having a job to go to would ease the pressure. I'd advise you not move just for him, moving solely for him isn't the right idea as if something were to happen and you break up (as an example) you would find yourself completely alone in a foreign country. Ensure you make friends of your own and have a life outside your relationship, it'll better you as a person and a partner so you don't depend on him too much. Living on your own isn't that bad of an option, at least he could stay with you. Even if you aren't living together due to finances at least you'd be closer than you would in an LDR. I mean there's no reason to say he can't move in with you once finances improve. I hope you don't think I'm against your idea I just urge you to err on the side of caution. During my time on this forum, I've seen members rush into moves just to close the distance only to run into issues and come back alone, I'd hate to see that happen to you. Plan things out, secure work and a place, talk to him and go from there. Best of luck.

[Rezie]

The fact that you have established that you are willing to move there at any moment is half the battle. If you are an EU citizen then it some in regards to paperwork (since there is none...yet). Can you work? the work situation in the UK is pretty good (naturally depends where in the UK) it may not be a great job but finding a job is not impossible.

You can get your own place with roommates. You wouldn't be alone, it's cheaper and gets you to get to know each other. Can you get a room together in a shared place? Can you afford a place if both of you work? is he willing to relocate within the country?
I honestly think this is not an impossible scenario at all, but then again I'm not sure what you mean by circumstances.