Help

[Jmvicic]

My boyfriend and I got together last night to discuss doing LDR, and we did not get anywhere. I really want to do it, but he's so afraid. His arguments were: he wants to be able to break up in person (if it comes to that) instead of just over text/phone call if it's not working, and also that our relationship involves a lot of him being physically there to cheer me up when I'm having breakdowns. I tried to tell him that we could just try it, but he's so scared. I suggested we try it for a month, and when I come back to town in June to move my stuff out of my apartment, we can end it in person if it's not working out. He said he would think about it, but I don't know if he'll be up for it. He believes that any form of LDR would be "postponing a breakup" and that he would be unhappy because he'd be worrying every day about whether or not we would break up. We are going to talk about it more, and I've already received advice from other friends who think he's being kinda irrational and should just let himself be happy. I see his point, but at the same time I think he is wrong to be so reluctant to try. What can I do? I know some of you might tell me that we should just end it if he's going to be like this, but I wanted to say his reasons for it and see what you guys think.
I would also like to point out that he was crying throughout the whole conversation, and I've never seen him cry before, so it's obvious that this is really hard for him.

[kittyxuchiha11]

I don't think there really is much you can do honestly. You've tried to convince him but if he won't budge, he won't budge. Honestly the idea of trialing it for a month sounds like a good plan, and i bet if you can convince him he'll realise it isn't as bad as he thinks it is. The idea of long distance is terrifying. I'm now in a position where i've been close to my SO and if we don't move in together in June, then I have to move back home and we'll be long distance (I'm nearly finished uni and my tenancy on this flat is up in June) The idea is terrifying and like I've been in 2 international LDR's before this and yet it seems a lot scarier now even the idea of being long distance even though logically i know I will be absolutely fine.

Your SO is obviously scared of how things will go and really all you can do is try to convince him, but if he doesn't want to then sadly that's the end of you guys because there's no point trying to make something one sided work. Best of luck to you

[Michelle]

I’m really sorry you are going through this. I think your request of doing a 1 month trial of LDR is very reasonable. I hope he will give it a shot. All you can do is reassure him that you are willing to put the effort into making it work and would not break up over distance alone if that is really all he is afraid of. If he does decide to give it a shot, hopefully he will be able to put in the effort to make this work and it doesn’t end up one sided because it won’t work like kittyxuchiha11 said.