Need advice

[Adamjames]

So, about 6 months ago I randomly started talking to this girl I met online. From there we started texting and calling frequently, but we kept taking breaks in between, an admittedly i believe it was my fault as I have anxiety when it comes to relationships with humans, friends or romantic. We recently started talking again the past 2 months, and I learned that she has a lot of personal issues she has to deal with that are not her fault. She suffers from severe depression, and we both know the cause but we cannot prevent it. Whenever we call, I get the chance to distract her and I don’t feel powerless trying to help. These aren’t issues to me, as it’s a two way street, I can’t just have the good, so I want the bad as well, to help her through them. I’ve come to realize how much I actually care and like her, she’s not a stereotypical teenage girl. (She’s actually a year older than me.) I dont know how to approach it though, I want to tell her so bad how I feel but I don’t want her to think I’m trying to take advantage of her. She obviously trusts me, she’s cried on the phone with me and shares a lot with me. I seek advice on how I should approach this. Should I be direct and tell her how I feel and ask if she feels the same, or should I ease my way into it? I also ran into two more problems. She’s 8000 miles away from where I live. (US) The other issue is that I am in the process of enlisting into the US Army within the next month or two my enlistment process will be finalized and I’ll get my ship date for basic. Because of these reasons, I feel like even trying wouldn’t be worth it, I need reassurance. I do truly really like her and trust her, and that’s why I feel like I could deal with the long distance as she’s very trustworthy and from what I know she’s never cheated in any of her previous relationships and thinks cheating is a big “no-no”


Also, please someone tell me if I’m over analyzing as I tend to do that. Any advice is appreciated, thank you.

[Michelle]

Welcome to LFAD!

I say go for it! I would just tell her how you feel about her and ask if she would like to be your girlfriend. Life is too short to always wonder if your relationship could have been more.

[Lyssa]

Hi!

I think it would be a shame for you told that in and never let it out. If not for the sake of seeing where this could go, I would do it for yourself. You never know how long you may hold it against yourself if you don't reveal how you feel. If you're okay with the distance, then it's worth asking her if she thinks it's worth the distance if she has feelings.

You're definitely not over-analyzing anything. It's human to ask yourself a million questions and not know how to answer them - especially with something as complicated as relationships. It's a good quality to think everything over before you make a decision, and it seems that you have. Again, I would go for it. Maybe she won't return the feelings, but maybe she will.

[Adamjames]

Thank you guys for replying I talked to her about it, and she’s a little fuzzy right now. She use to feel the same but thought I was with someone else because I was a little reluctant and awkward when she said anything flirty, which admittedly I am a nervous wreck when it comes to anything flirty or romantic, so I can see that. She said she could see herself with me, so we’re trying to iron something out.

Thanks again