NEED ADVICE/ ldr/ post visit depression

[amycollingwood]

So I’ve been with my girlfriend for 7 months and we first met on the 6th of June. We spent the week together and now the distance is harder than it was before. We only have 280 miles between us and the plane can cost anywhere between £70-£120.
When we’re on FaceTime or on the phone we just get so sad because we know what it’s like to be physically together but now we can’t have that.
I’m going to university I’m September which might bring a bigger toll on her relationship as she doesn’t start university next year & when she does she’ll possibly be going to a uni around her area due to family.
I’m just looking on advice on how to cope with this depressive feeling as it’s making us sick & there is no way that we’re going to break up because she’s my soulmate.

[Ali Schnee]

How to deal with this feeling... its a difficult question, because everyone copes different. The most would tell: Try to live your life at fullest, meet your friends, read, do sports, what ever makes you feel good at this point of life. My own strategy: Music on, knitting or drawing and waiting to the next possibility to talk to my SO. Talk openly about the feelings, about feeling lost and alone. It helps, because you are together and that makes it more tolerable. Plan your next visit, so you will have something to look front to, something happy and good luck!

[snow]

Keep them in your life while you're apart. When we used to be LD we used to "pretend" we were together, if that makes sense. When I came home, I told him I just came home. We would talk about our days and then eat together. When we needed to do something or go somewhere we'd keep each other in the loop.
The feeling will never just go away, but it'll get better. Stay busy, treat each other kindly and make it to that next visit.

[libertine]

you cant dwell on it, that'll only make matters worse. i've seem my GF twice for 3 weeks at a time since february. In total we split ways 5 times so far and it gets harder every time as we
grow closer with each visit. But that's also something to take comfort in. When you talk dont dwell on how much better it would be if they were with you now. of course theres time for that
but just enjoy the time you have to interact with each other instead of making it a sad experience.

[Chifuyu4]

I totally understand your feeling of hardly being able to facetime because it makes you so sad -- always happens to me, especially after saying goodbye. Honestly, the best way at first is to find things to distract you, like your favourite hobbies or catching up with old friends, while still keeping in good contact with your SO. Over time it gets better as you get used to being apart again. If you keep going in your relationship though, you'll be meeting and saying goodbye all over again. It never really gets easier, but the first time is the most difficult and can feel confusing. Just hang in there. Best of luck with your relationship, there will be many struggles to come but many joys as well

[ldrhealer]

I did long distance for 4 years while we were both at university and can agree with everyone here that it never got easier saying goodbye at the end of each visit. Everyone copes a different way but I found for me, the depressive feeling usually lasts for about 2 weeks and then I get back into the routine of my life and it does get better. Distractions and keeping busy definitely helps! You will find that when the studies come in, you will be very distracted with all of that so time will pass for the both of you. It's good to be sad after you see eachother because you've been on such a high being together but best both not dwell on the feeling for too long or it will drag down the chats. You need to stay positive and strong for eachother to keep the conversations interesting and the spark alive, and not let the sadness in your long distance creep into your own daily life and motion. I would suggest you both make some plans for the next visit so you both have something to look forward to and keep chugging on! If she's your soulmate, be grateful and consider this long distance journey something you can both be proud of conquering once you can finally be together physically. I know with my relationship, it was the hardest but the most satisfying thing we've been through and we came out stronger than ever! All the best with yours. Head high friend.