At a total loss..

[sara96]

Hey y’all, first post here! I’m hoping some of you can give me some insight on what to do/any advice.

My boyfriend is in the Air Force and is soon to be transferred to New Mexico for f16 training in August. We’ve been together since November of 2017 and it was love at first sight. We visit each other every 2 months or so and talk as much as we possibly can.

After seeing him this last trip I thought long and hard about moving to New Mexico with him. I’m a hairstylist here in TX and am completely open to finding a new career path to be with him. I explained to him that I’m concerned after training he will be shipped out over seas and I will not be able to go with him, due to the fact we aren’t engaged or married.

I brought up the idea of moving to New Mexico with him and he wasn’t totally opposed to it. But had some concerns (and rightfully so) of financial obligations.

I know we’ve not been together very long but I feel like this is crunch time. We’re never going to know our future if we aren’t able to live together and see how we react on a day to day basis.

I told him to think about what I said. And how he feels about it. Should I bring this back up to him? Should I just let the whole idea go? I’m not sure.. ANY insight would be wonderful...

[Harlequin]

You most likely wouldn't be able to go overseas with him even if you were married, so don't worry about that. Certain overseas bases don't allow spouses to follow for safety reasons. If you're gonna do a military relationship, you have to get used to deployments and being by yourself for months at a time. If he's only in New Mexico for training, then that may not even be his duty station, so you'll want to find out where home is going to be for him before you start thinking about moving.
Assuming he stays in NM and you move to join him, he may not be allowed to live off base just yet. USAF tries to keep the single airmen in the barracks, at least for a little while.
Since you're not a spouse, you won't get the same rights/privileges as one, so you need to make sure that you have a really good safety net for yourself. Talk to your boyfriend, and be really thorough about it. Relationships can move really quickly in the military, so you need to make sure you both understand what you're getting yourselves into, and make sure that this is what you both really want.
My husband and I got engaged after a year of dating, got married 9 months later, and then bought a house and moved in together 4 months after that. It moved VERY quickly, and I had to take care of pretty much everything that didn't require the military. We didn't live together until we bought the house, and we're doing pretty well.