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Where does this leave us now? What do I do?

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    Where does this leave us now? What do I do?

    Whilst my ldr isn’t as far away as some people’s, it is a 2 hour journey each way. We see each other only at the weekend and it is the most amazing relationship I have even been in. We’ve done the LDR for 6 years, we trust each other, we have fun, we love each other implicitly, we talk about our hopes and dreams together. Moving in, is all we both want, to be able to close the distance and finally be together.

    Our circumstances have meant that the time was never right to do so, we were changing jobs, studying and had some family issues. Everything is ironed out and I suggested we look at putting the wheels in motion to close the distance over the next year . We always agreed to move half way, and meet in the middle (or she would come over to me). She talks excitedly about being with me, and all the things we will have together, I love her so much.we were saving and talking about our future. I kind of knew recently she didn’t want to move as the time got closer, but she wouldn’t admit to it, just some things that happened made it clear, and it hurt.she was sending me links to houses for sale where she lives etc.

    I suggested buying separately so at least we were on the property ladder and she could still be with me but not sacrifice her life, I was trying to put her first over my own wishes, and she accepted. But that hurt, because deep down I wanted us to purchase together. After 6 years I didn’t want to end up doing this on my own. I was angry and upset and said I needed to think about things. We had a chat and it ended up in us falling out and ending things, it was silly I know. Afterwards she said, she was devastated. I told her all I wanted was her, and I would do anything for her I a,ways have. She then said out of the blue, she’s scared to give up her life to be with me. I knew it deep down, which was why we ended up arguin in the first place. I always felt like I wasn’t as important as everything she has built up around her in the years we were together. I helped and supported her through everything.

    Now she’s still saying she wants me and a future, but equally she doesn’t know what she wants now. She said that her job is really important and doesn’t know if she can leave it. I don’t know where that leaves me now. We invested into this relationship to have the end goal of being together. She works in a job that means she can transfer to another location and keep her job, but she isn’t sure if she wants to. She doesn’t know what she wants now the time has come, and says she doesn’t know what she wants from me or where that leaves us. I asked if she wanted space and she says she doesn’t know, she doesn’t even know if she wants to speak to me or not right now. Just keeps saying of course she wants to be with me and have a future but she doesn’t know when that will be. It’s killing me, I’m just sitting here in limbo not knowing if we’re even talking or not. I can’t focus at work, I’m devastated, I feel like I can’t eat. It’s consuming me. I feel so helpless. Please help me. What do I do?

    #2
    That sounds really unfair to you, when you suggested meeting halfway but she doesn't even want to do that. Usually an LDR requires some sacrifices on both sides, sounds like you're doing that but she's not holding up the end of the bargain. And I can't understand why she wouldn't want to transfer if it isn't that hard and she can be with you. And 6 years is a long time to invest in a relationship and shouldn't be taken lightly.

    It's pretty hard to know what to do in this situation, you can wait a little and see if she comes around, but let her know that she can't just ignore everything and not talk about it. Ultimately she's going to have to decide if her current situation is really better than being with you in the compromise you had agreed upon. Let her think for a bit but be persistent in letting her know that she's going to have to make a descision eventually. Best of luck and let us know what happens <3
    Chifuyu

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