New guy here looking for advice!

[Manners182]

Hi all!

Back story:
Im 30 and met my SO who is 27 on a skiing trip with a large group of mutual friends back in January, i live in the UK and she lives in Jersey (channel islands) we immediately hit it off and we had such good chemistry it felt like we were best friends straight off the bat.
I'm an engineer, and she runs a surf school over there so has some free time during winter periods but is manic over the summer.
Nothing happened on the trip but we messaged and facetimed every day for two weeks and she ended up coming over to mine for a week where we got together and then started seeing each other.

Over the next three months she flew over several times and we spent a week/10 days together once or twice a month until she had to start up the business ready for the summer. We are both absolutely mad about each other and have never felt this way before, despite both having serious relationships before. Both of us saying we want to get married and have kids together and trust each other 100%.

I had a few weeks holiday left to book for my years allowance and promptly booked some trips in but knew I would struggle, and have been in between these trips. I have also been going over for as many weekends as I have been able too which hasn't been easy on me, stress due to travelling and extra work is starting to run me into the ground.

We have had the usual bumps where we establish how much we can talk to each other etc, she's a little more cagey with her feelings than me and more positive thinking so she looks forward to seeing each other the next time rather than worrying about the next gap being away from each other.

My biggest worry is the long run, I'm not sure how I can keep this up for because I'm physically and emotionally drained from all this, I'm aware that I can't be pessimistic in front of her as it will push her away but after struggling with anxiety and depression in the past, it's rearing it's ugly head and making me feel sick and worry about the future.

I'm not sure whether to cut the cord now and just accept I can't do this, or if there's anything anyone can suggest to make it easier I would be all ears, I really need some help processing the situation sometimes.

Thanks in advance.

[kittyo9]

Are you feeling drained from not seeing your SO or drained from having to travel all the time? If it's the latter, consider cutting back on visits to maybe once a month, alternating between you and her when reasonable. Discuss it with your SO and let them know that the frequent trips have been taking a toll on you. I know the thought of going a month or two between visits sounds awful, but that's because you've grown accustomed to seeing each other so often. You do adjust to less frequent visits, especially when the relationship has been going on for longer, and many people make it work with far fewer and shorter visits. It means saying goodbye less often, and being able to devote yourself more fully to your work in between visits, as the visits otherwise normally "disrupt" your work flow. It also means your reunions are all the better.

If it's the former, maybe it's time to start thinking about how you're going to close the distance. Could always do both.