what to do when he is not sure of me?

[honeyred1109]

hi everyone. im new to this site. i just wanna share and ask for advices from you guys

i have a a long distance bf for 2 yrs and 9 months now. totally LDR. we are both filipinos but he is in US. this october he will be coming to Philippines to see me. this will be our firts meeting as lovers, since we knew each other since 2010.

i wonder how will i able to settle in US, to close the distance between us if everytime we talk about our future, he said he isnt sure of me, not even thinking of marrying me (for now). But i honestly believe thay he loves me, i can really feel it. And still, he has a point, that we still need to be together before marrying, im just afraid that at the end of the day, since we already had 3 yrs ldr relationship, that he might leave me for not being sure of me.

what should i do? this thoughts worry me most of the time.

im 24 and he is 23.

[snow]

hi everyone. im new to this site. i just wanna share and ask for advices from you guys

i have a a long distance bf for 2 yrs and 9 months now. totally LDR. we are both filipinos but he is in US. this october he will be coming to Philippines to see me. this will be our firts meeting as lovers, since we knew each other since 2010.

i wonder how will i able to settle in US, to close the distance between us if everytime we talk about our future, he said he isnt sure of me, not even thinking of marrying me (for now). But i honestly believe thay he loves me, i can really feel it. And still, he has a point, that we still need to be together before marrying, im just afraid that at the end of the day, since we already had 3 yrs ldr relationship, that he might leave me for not being sure of me.

what should i do? this thoughts worry me most of the time.

im 24 and he is 23.

People are different and have different needs. I knew I wanted to be married by 25 and I made that very clear to my husband. He, on the other hand, told me that he would probably have waited to marriage and that marriage wasn't a priority to him. If we had been dating without the distance, we probably wouldn't have gotten married after being together for close to 3 years, but since this was the only way we could close the distance, we did. None of us regret it but it's just different views.

[honeyred1109]

thank you snow. you are lucky for being married with the one you truly love. im just hoping for now that we will enjoy our company when we get together on october. yes indeed, we women, wants to get married earlier than men. i will be 25 nxt year, and i wish to marry also... but if its not gonna happen... i donno. i also told him that at least he will have his decision of marrying me before i reach 28. its sounds like im pressuring him but i dont have any choice.

thanks again.

[snow]

I don't think that's an exclusively female view. My brother wanted to get married asap and start a family. It's just different mindsets.

I think you did the right thing in setting yourself a goal / a limit. He needs to know that marriage is something you are striving for and if he does not want that, then he will have to understand that you guys may not have a future together. Stick to your guns.