parents do not approve my relationship

[aukjeves]

hi guys,
I'm in a LDR with a guy from The Netherlands. I'm from the netherlands as well but I live in Spain. My parents are divorced, I live in Spain with my mum, stepdad and siblings, but my dad lives in The Netherlands. My dad met my boyfriend 3x now, and he came over to spain for 2 weeks. Now he left, and my mum and stepdad are making a huge problem about it, making me feel bad about being in love. Every time I talk about him they are getting angry with me, saying we have no future while he is planning to move here when he finishes school. WHAT TO DO?

[Lostviolinist]

Just don't mind them. They can complain all they want. Eventually you will move out and be independent right? Eventually you'll be able to make whatever decision you want and they can't stop you. I'll just say, if the end result is good, then they are much more likely to accept your relationship.

Have a long term plan. Talk about the future with this guy. See what he has in mind. I'd say have some idea what you want to happen in the next 4-5 years. Be prepared to change that plan more than once. I hope you are both patient and stubborn. Neither of you can consider giving up to be an option.

Good luck.

[maple]

Have you asked your parents why they are so upset with your relationship? Depending on their answer, maybe you could resolve those issues.
In general though, LDRs can be difficult to understand for people observing, so just stay strong.

[Annah Marie DC]

I and my fiance had this struggle before, too. I was 19 when I met him and was still studying in college. My family doubted our relationship 'cause according to them, we're still young, I'd get pregnant, I won't finish my studies, a lot of negative things they were speculating on us. At first, I also got annoyed but then I realized they were just concern about me. Instead of bugging, I felt more motivated to show to them that I can do things, I can stand and make my decisions on my own. I did not leave my fiance on my side, I fought for our love even if it looked like I was going against them. In the end, they accepted us because they saw how we really loved each other, they could not really stop us, and that we're making ourselves better.

You know more your partner than what they do. Talk to them. Let them understand and prove to them that you can make good decisions for your own. It may not be instant, give them time. Soon they'll realize, you two deserve each other.

[aukjeves]

Yeah, that's what I want to do, but my mum just messaged me saying I have to break up with him, or else she will kick me out, and I will have to stay at my dad's (they are divorced).
I really don't wanna break up, so should I stay at my dad's? The distance between me and my boyfriend will be way shorter than before.

[Lio]

You also have to figure few things, like studies and/or work. If you can make sure you won't have any problem with these, and if living with your dad is fine with you, then go for it.