Announcing wedding plan to parents

[Littlewhiteflower]

Hello community,

I've been engaged for over 6 months and I've been with my SO for over 2 and a half year (on and off LD). On these 2 years and a half, we have lived together for about 10 months (due to summer vacation/health issue).

My parents have never been really accepting of my partner as he is from another nationality and he does not speak their language. They feel like they don't fully know him and that I'm too young to get married (22 1/2 year old). They also feel like I don't know him enough.

I attempted to tell them the other day I was "considering" getting married and my mom went into a panic mode and it ended up in a fight. I haven't brought back the subject again but my partner and I have started researching places where we could celebrate the wedding. His family knows about it and are very excited. I feel like i need to announce it soon, but i don't know how.

I am scared to tell them I'm getting married now. I have a very good relationship with them, except they always made me a war when it was time to visit my SO, have him coming to see me and so on that I feel like I can't take another fight.

I wrote a brief letter to announce them the wedding but i don't have the guts to send it just yet. It is kinda sad because I would like to enjoy my engagement. Instead I have to hide everything and i can't be honest with them.

The wedding will allow us to close the gap and to live together. Plus, it is a celebration of our love. My parents think he will take advantage of my citizenship. I doubt that would ever happen but they never seem to focus on the positive.

How should I proceed to announce it? I feel like a shrimp right now but the stress of hidding it is making me feel bad. What would be the best way to do it? Would a letter be a good idea?

[onlyemily]

I'm very sorry you are dealing with unnecessary stress during a time that should be bliss. I definitely think you should tell them...otherwise they will feel like you are lying to them and that can just cause more tension between everyone. I think a letter could be a good way because they will read everything you want to say so nothing gets cut off and you don't get interrupted. Do what you feel is right for you. But I am so sorry your parents don't support your relationship, I have been lucky with my parents and unlucky with my family. I hope they accept it. I wish you luck and love on your journey <3

[Littlewhiteflower]

Hey, thanks for the support. I told them in a letter about a week ago. I had to deal with 3 days of war haha.. but they are more calm now. We should be able to get married in a year. I'm in the process of planning it now..

My parents are still not for it and this is kind of weird with them, but it went better than I anticipated. I was prepared mentally to their reaction and I dealt with it in a more mature way that I usually do. So, it went okay.

Thanks again for your reply. I appreciate it

[Redheart14]

Glad you got that off your chest.