Biggest fight in LDR and how to fix it

[nagini97_]

Hey everyone,

Im in a wonderful relationship with my partner for about 1 year and 9 months. He’s also my first love. And hopefully he’ll be my last. Little summary of our relationship: we’re very serious about each other and our future together. Already talked about kids and living together and making all these plans and have a 5 year plan.

In april we both had to go abroad for an internship for college. So we went from litterally seeing each other every single day (we’re in the same class) to not seeing each other at all. Last time i saw him was in june with my birthday. But we’ll be back home in november. Ever since we left, we had a lot of arguments and things werent going well. The fights and the arguments were mostly about petty little things. And most of the arguments were started by me.

For some messed up reason i cant stop fighting and pissing him off. And since the last 2/3 days its been like hell. We had the biggest argument we’ve ever had and in the heat of the moment i broke things off... I didnt mean it of course but sadly i still said it. Since then my SO said he needed time to think about our future and us because ive hurt him a lot with all the stupid arguments and breaking things off. He also said i had to do the same.

I cant let him go and i cant accept that the doesnt know about our future. I have no idea what to do... We talked about contacting each other everyday like we usually do except nicknames and ily’s and i miss yous and me starting a conversation, he wants to start the concersations. He also doesnt want to let me go until both of us make up our minds. My mind is already made up and i dont want to let him go and still see a future with him. But he doesnt know it yet...

I am in limbo and emotionally drained

[Xtina Marie4031]

Do you know why you would be picking fights with him? Maybe if you could figure that out, you would try harder to make the time you have together more pleasant.

And you need to tell him that your mind is already made up. If you are relying mostly on texts and things for communication, it is easy to misconstrue stuff. Always make sure you are clear in what you say and want.

I hope everything works out.

[kannagi]

Hi, I can relate very well to this.
I have always been in long distance though, sometimes we are not happy with ourselves and end up arguing with our SO. Long distance worsens fights,so right now ,let him take a bit of time,do not argue or fight,say sorry ,tell him you realised you were wrong, i am sure he ll b the warm fuzzy heart again.