Same Old Problems...😐😑

[SimplyComplicated]

Hello..
Long time not been here.
I still in relationship with my so (now for a year 4 months).

Things start getting a bit hard for both of us
1. i resigned n just trying to settle with my new job
2. His visa will be expired next month and he has not yet got any job after one year graduate from his master degree
3. He need to support his family financially and he just work a part time job in fast food restaurant.
4. His father retired and he need to fully support his parents now,or they need to leave separately from his siblings
5. He was struggling to find a proper job in a short time before his visa expired
6. He needs to move out from his flat now to another flat
7. He doesn't have internet now only depends on his mobile data

So its kinda bad time for us.
Many times he talked to me i need ur fully support n understanding,because i have other urgent priorities.
It is not that im not making u my first priority, i do always but there r times i can't cos more urgent priorities.

And if u guys remembered i have a trust issue n insecurity issue.

Sometimes we r okay but sometimes we argued.
N just cos a stupid things,like he online but not chat with me and his reasons was he is busy,and his explanation was if he is online it was always chatting to other person n having fun,sometimes he needto ask sugestion sometimes he need to talk to hi colleagues.

But the one that i never can understand, if he is online on insta n facebook or messenger for quite a long time (30 mins to an hour),i always suspected bad bout it,like is he talk with other girls or what.
And again many time he said no,it was his way to try to relax his mine.

Yeah he always message me everyday when he wake up before he go to work n when he is home,its rarely he skip these things.

His work time table kinda a bit messed up,he got a very late shift that ends midnight, so he will wake up late,then he has a language class online.

And this morning (my time) scene kinda made me questionings things,
He msg me he was otw home,he kind on n of maybe online (m not sure,i wasn't online that time) and i replied n asked if he was home,he said ya he reached and then he said now its time for me to sleep,cos im really tired.
Then i still see him online on insta n fb / messenger,i confronted him,he said i just dont want to talk to anyone right now im mentally n physically tired (he just finished for his language exam for 2 days yesterday),and he said why u have to questioning everything and not understand if someone need alone time when they r tired,and it was midnight time for him he was online till 3am last chat with me 1.30 am n i confronted him at 2.30 am,he was online on fb/messenger.he got home at 1 am.

My question is ,is this normal for a guy to do like this?or i need to doubt him about chatting with other girls?and lied that he said he is going to sleep.
And he said he don't have internet yet but he can on on fb n insta without his mobile data cos his whatsapp off.
When i confronted about new number he said he doesn't have.( he told me about the hotspot thing,but im not sure if he already get it)

What do u guys thing?
Should i confronted him more?
Please give ur opinion


* we have 5 hours difference
* he off his last active on social media before but because mu unstoppable complaining about it n got mad the other day he on it.
* he is mostly nice when im not doubting, questioning n being too much.

[lelyta]

Hey, and yeah seems like you have more deep insecurity issue here... Like how do you handle your life? Do you have enough activities for day to day basis? I find it's a bit weird that you constantly checking his online status.... Since he still texts you at the proper time.. I don't really see why you always need assurance when he's online but not talking to you?

My suggestion is... Find another thing you can focus on rather than your guy and your relationship. He told you he's in bad shape right now... While the his stress is high, being a clingy and demanding person may not help your relationship at all.

[maple]

It may be possible that you two just have differently approaches to communication. For example, even when I'm really tired I enjoy having a quick call with my boyfriend, but there can be people who would rather be alone. It doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't care about you, but you don't know that so you should let him know how it makes you feel. If he really cares, then he would work with you so that you two can come up with something that works

[Northernstrat]

As a guy I read your post and felt like partly I am approaching your ways of feeling to my own relationship that I have been in for over three years. The mind is very powerful in over analyzing the little details that your seeing is causing concern. I do this to myself almost daily and your not wrong to think it. This is how your approach is and it will always be this way bc you are only a product of your upbringing. I don’t think you are wrong to have a questioning attitude towards his actions. Try having a notepad on your phone that when you feel like calling out his actions and feel there bothering you you can type them there. This way you can still put your thoughts through your fingertips that are wanting to text him when things look questionable. Later afteron the next day or so and you have gotten your mind at ease go back a read the notes and see how they sound to be said out loud or just in your head.