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Has your SO experienced a family emergency while you were together?

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    Has your SO experienced a family emergency while you were together?

    My boyfriend and I have been officially together for a year and a half. We have had four visits together. Planning a visit for a fifth one next month. Unfortunately on Sunday my boyfriend's mom had surgery for an infection and everything seemed okay...but now she is in the ICU (she has MRSA at the infection site, her kidneys are working at 30%, she now has pneumonia and is also diabetic..), I hate to say it but we are not totally convinced that she is in the clear. For some reason plane tickets are really expensive right now and are almost a thousand round trip. My boyfriend is alone. There is no family around him other than his mom and he is having such a hard time with this. His dad died in '16 and it really took a toll on him. Even if I were able to gather all the money for a flight...he wouldn't be able to get me from the airport and I am too young to get a rental, so that would be a challenge to work out... We are hoping everything will be okay until I get there in September. I just feel so sad for him even though he has told me he will let me know if it gets to the point when he needs me there. Has this happened with you? What would you do? I'm not being crazy for this right?
    Last edited by onlyemily; August 21, 2018, 11:40 PM.
    California- Alabama
    Relationship began: April 4, 2017
    First visit: Alabama: April 4-8, 2017
    Second visit: Alabama: August 22-30, 2017
    Third visit: Alabama: December 9-19, 2017
    Fourth visit: California: May 25- June 4, 2018
    Fifth visit: Alabama: September 15- 26, 2018
    Sixth visit: Alabama: December 18, 2018-January 3, 2019
    Seventh visit: Alabama: April 2-10, 2019

    #2
    That's one of the challenges of being LD, for sure. It's so hard to comfort someone from so far away. My SO struggles with this when I'm having a hard time and doesn't always know what to say or do because it's said much better with a hug. September isn't that far away, but I understand the desire to be there right now. I really hope his mother is able to make it through.

    Strictly logistically, ticket prices are expensive "right now" because it's really close to your flight date. If you book your tickets further out (usually 2+ weeks), the price goes down. You're also not too young to rent a car at most major rentals, btw. You just have to pay extra because of your age.
    Canadian permanent residence APPROVED!
    Closed the Distance: 09/26/2019
    Engaged: 09/26/2020

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      #3
      I can relate a bit, as my mother has MS. There has been no emergency when my SO visited or when I visited her, but due to her health issues, I know that absolutely anything may happen, anytime. Either when I'm at home in France or in Korea. I sometimes feel guilty as I feel I abandon my mother when I'm visiting my SO. Then my parents and I message each other on facebook when I'm away, which ensures me that there's nothing wrong. My father helps her a lot but I know I have to be prepared to anything.

      I don't think you're being crazy about it. It's normal to be worried for your SO's parents and for him. I hope everything will be going well for all of you.
      Last edited by Lio; August 24, 2018, 08:25 AM.

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        #4
        It just makes you realize the distance so quickly. Luckily she has been stable, though still in ICU.

        He lives close to a college town with a smaller airport, so tickets went up when parents and students were flying in, then arents were leaving again....and luckily I didn't have to because it is waaaaay more expensive. Thank you!!
        California- Alabama
        Relationship began: April 4, 2017
        First visit: Alabama: April 4-8, 2017
        Second visit: Alabama: August 22-30, 2017
        Third visit: Alabama: December 9-19, 2017
        Fourth visit: California: May 25- June 4, 2018
        Fifth visit: Alabama: September 15- 26, 2018
        Sixth visit: Alabama: December 18, 2018-January 3, 2019
        Seventh visit: Alabama: April 2-10, 2019

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          #5
          Originally posted by Lio View Post
          I can relate a bit, as my mother has MS. There has been no emergency when my SO visited or when I visited her, but due to her health issues, I know that absolutely anything may happen, anytime. Either when I'm at home in France or in Korea. I sometimes feel guilty as I feel I abandon my mother when I'm visiting my SO. Then my parents and I message each other on facebook when I'm away, which ensures me that there's nothing wrong. My father helps her a lot but I know I have to be prepared to anything.

          I don't think you're being crazy about it. It's normal to be worried for your SO's parents and for him. I hope everything will be going well for all of you.
          It just makes everything so much harder and stressful. Thanks for letting me know I'm not crazy though. Thank you, I wish the best for your mother as well. <3
          California- Alabama
          Relationship began: April 4, 2017
          First visit: Alabama: April 4-8, 2017
          Second visit: Alabama: August 22-30, 2017
          Third visit: Alabama: December 9-19, 2017
          Fourth visit: California: May 25- June 4, 2018
          Fifth visit: Alabama: September 15- 26, 2018
          Sixth visit: Alabama: December 18, 2018-January 3, 2019
          Seventh visit: Alabama: April 2-10, 2019

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            #6
            My husband's father passed away while we were long distance. We were in the very beginning of our relationship and I wasn't able to go there. It was very hard for me not to be there for him, actually harder for me than for him. It's one of the trials of an LDR
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            I love him. Forever. And every day after that.

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