Jealousy and Arguing

[My Hearts in Kentucky]

What can i do? I admit it, I do get jealous and i cant help it. I just hate when i cant be with Glen. When he goes to hang with friends i hate it because i cant be hanging with him too, and then he feels like I am controlling him and i dont want him to feel like that. He thinks I dont trust him anymore and I do!! How can I prove to him that I do trust him?

Also, all we ever do is argue when we have our nightly phone calls. It is killing both of us. His parents are also worried because they have heard Glen on the phone through the walls.

Help please?

[lisaar910]

Have you tried making plans with your friends when he has plans with his? Maybe you just need a distraction because you're lonely. I think if you stop showing him that you're jealous he'll feel like you trust him again.

It sounds like all of the jealousy and time apart might be getting to both of you. Maybe try talking to him about arguing all the time and that you'd like to work with him to stop doing it so much. Your signature says you get to see him in 12 days so if that's true, just hang on until then. It will probably be much better when you get to see him. I know when it gets close to seeing my SO we fight more than usual. It always seems so weird to me because we're both excited so why fight, but it happens because we miss each other so much.

[Karringtyn]

I understand the whole wanting to be with him. Please realize though that the two of you MUST have your own personal lives to with friends...I agree...when he has plans...make your own plans!!!

Hang in there...if you both were in a CDR he still would be hanging with his friends and vice versa...that is a healthy relationship!

[My Hearts in Kentucky]

Thanks guys so much! And yes i do get to see him in 12 days!!

[mynameiseric]

im right there with you...I get jealous when she hangs out with friends (especially a certain one) but thats more then jealous. I guess the main reason I get jealous is because thats the time I SHOULD be getting with her, and they don't appreciate it as much as I would. But the best you can do is just stay in contact with him when hes busy, txting, phone, whatever. Or make your own plans, distract yourself and dont think about it....while he's busy, go do somethin!
'

[My Hearts in Kentucky]

Thanks Eric.

[Crystle]

Ah, the tips in this thread are really nice.

I'm right there with you on the jealousy thing. I am like... the single most jealous person I know, which is annoying. My significant other finds it annoying when I get like that. I try to control it, but at times it just bubbles to the surface.

But making plans when she makes plans sounds like a good idea. At the very least, it would make a nice distraction, I think. And the whole "You must both have your own personal lives" thing.

Gosh, Jealousy is hard to get through. Good luck, I hope you enjoy seeing them. ♥

[My Hearts in Kentucky]

Thanks good luck to you too

[Zephii]

Well, to me, it depends how you show your jealousy. I'm not sure it's possible to just stop being jealous (oh but I wish!) but you can control how you deal with that. Think before you speak, and use your sense of logic to calm you down. That's how I do it.
Remind yourself of the time you do spend together. Chances are his friends get jealous of you too.

As for the fighting, are they issues that actually need to be resolved? Or are you just both letting underlying anger and frustration seep into your conversations? Get to the root of the problem, and that will help you both

[Moon]

If you can, try to look at it as being grateful to his friends for keeping him occupied and happy while you're apart. I know I am, to me my guy's friends keep him from feeling so alone, and since it's not possible for me to keep him from being lonely between trips, I'm glad he's got them. I'm not jealous of them at all, if I'm not there, what else is he supposed to do? They are all guys though, I wouldn't feel the same way if were girls he was hanging out with. I just want him to be as happy as possible

[NaNi]

It used to make me jealous too. It probably still does from time to time. Just because I would love to do all those things with my SO. Going shopping, going to the movies, going out for dinner... but we can't. It really does hurt me. I try to cope with it though. Because I know that my SO would also love to do all those things with me. And we will.

[noodle]

I hate jealousy ^^ Im like hardcore jealous. I could go nuts on my bf for no reason or basically whenever he goes out and stuff.
For me it sucks even more cause thanks to the 6hr time difference Im mostly out with friends when he is on and vice versa.
I have to admitt at first I do show him that I'm pretty pissed/jealous but then I just shake it off cause I know how redicioulus it is to be jealous for no reason.
I hate it when we argue >_> I actually thing if I wasnt so jealous and such we'd argue half of what we argue now... But he knows me, he knows that I dont do it on purpose and that I feel like shit when I go nuts, and for some reason he still puts up with me ^^
But he actually isnt any better, just that I don't have any male guy friends I hang out with so he cant be jealous cause of that and in general I didn't go out much untill maybe the past month. So he basically has no reason to be jealous etc

But talk it out with him Explain to him that its just so hard for you to take it and all thats on your chest basically He will understand and you'll be able to work properly again

[annamorgan]

I'm having pretty much the same problems, and I like all the advice here

[Pixie]

My so recently moved off to university and some of the aspects of it were making me a little upset. Like when I see him adding new friends on facebook or talking about new friends and all his classes and clubs and things and how super busy he is. I feel so ridiculous for feeling like that because he is happy and OF COURSE I want him to be happy! I think it's just that he's got this whole new life now and I'm not in it so much, and my life is the same as before just that he's gone now. I usually just try to talk myself out of it. Point out that he's coming on to tell ME about all these new things and share them with me...that I can hang out with friends more now too. It certainly gives me more time to do things just for me.