Jealousy with parents

[jamwam131]

Hey guys! I just told my parents about my long distance relationship about two months ago, and my mom has been very wishy washy with it. At first she acted like she was happy, and now she's been treating me passive aggressively. She makes snide remarks a lot, and we got into a huge argument today over it. Me and my boyfriend have known each other for 6 years now, and my mom feels like i'm dumping her. I try my best to make time for them both, but you know with long distance relationships, you develop a schedule for when you can talk. Its not only that, I live in a very stressful household, and we basically take care of my sister's 4 year old son. I'm usually pretty stressed after coming back from talking to my mom, so I haven't been wanting to talk to her as much. I've told her this and she takes it the wrong way and blows up at me, so honestly talking does nothing for us. I feel like if I feel happy, she wants to make me miserable. Today was our two year anniversary, and that's when the fight happened and it makes me sad that my mom wants to shit all over the relationship. I get it that she's my mom and yeah spend time, but what do you do when they make you upset all the time? Is there any suggestions or anybody else going through this? Thanks!

[Harlequin]

My MIL was extremely jealous of me at first, but then she calmed down, got over herself, and is super awesome. I don't think she ever viewed it as her son "dumping her", though. That's really concerning. Like, did she straight up use that term? As some general advice, do whatever it is you need to do to assert yourself while also keeping yourself sane. Focus on your relationship, and focus on getting out of that household as soon as you can. You are your #1 priority.
But I feel compelled to ask, and you don't have to answer since it's not my business, but does your mom have any sort of mental illness? Every time I've heard stories similar to this, it always ended up being covert (emotional) incest and the mom was always a narcissist.

[jamwam131]

I'm not sure, but it makes me wonder. My sister is the same way, and I thought she may have had it, but I'm not doctor. I just feel like its more emotional abuse than anything else. It makes me sad because of course I want my mom in my life, and I know she cares about me, but its too much sometimes. Its like no matter what I do, its not good enough. We were suppose to go to family counseling, but it got cancelled because of my dad's work schedule, and I fear its no longer gonna happen. Also by dumping her, she meant like I'm running away from her, and she'll no longer have me. Thanks for replying!