Question

[Xtina Marie4031]

So.. The SO and I have our first meet (after being separated for over twenty years) next month. I am so excited, I am beside myself. We have some awesome things scheduled and will even be getting tattoos together! However, we still do not have a date yet for closing the distance. My concern is, how hard will parting be? Will the distance be harder or easier after our meet?

[Chris516]

Fabulous!!!!

[CJM987]

Yes, I'm just thinking about the meeting. I'm trying to not think about the day I take her home and have to drive back to my house over 4 hours away.

[autumn1790]

Yes, I'm just thinking about the meeting. I'm trying to not think about the day I take her home and have to drive back to my house over 4 hours away.

Does your wife know about this?

[Littlewhiteflower]

I don't want to judge, but seeing your last posts, I find it kind of bad to call him your SO when he is married. Will he divorce his sick wife for you? If not, how will you cope with the parting EVERY time you see him? Do you want to be the "other" woman in a relationship? That's what I wonder...

Parting are hard. They get harder everytime. The best way to deal with them is to change your mind with activities and to find a way to close the distance.

And honestly, seeing your last post of how you want him to dump his sick wife in a nurse place is heartless from you. He married her for the good and the bad. You married him and you divorced him. He is about to cheat on his wife while she is ill.. i hope you two will never consider getting married again as you have no idea of the values of marriage.

Good luck with the distance.. it didn't work the first time. You're considering it again. Except there is a wife and the distance in the middle of your story. It's not going to be any easier.

[Xtina Marie4031]

Yes, I'm just thinking about the meeting. I'm trying to not think about the day I take her home and have to drive back to my house over 4 hours away.

We will not dwell on that <3

[Xtina Marie4031]

I don't want to judge, but seeing your last posts, I find it kind of bad to call him your SO when he is married. Will he divorce his sick wife for you? If not, how will you cope with the parting EVERY time you see him? Do you want to be the "other" woman in a relationship? That's what I wonder...

Parting are hard. They get harder everytime. The best way to deal with them is to change your mind with activities and to find a way to close the distance.

And honestly, seeing your last post of how you want him to dump his sick wife in a nurse place is heartless from you. He married her for the good and the bad. You married him and you divorced him. He is about to cheat on his wife while she is ill.. i hope you two will never consider getting married again as you have no idea of the values of marriage.

Good luck with the distance.. it didn't work the first time. You're considering it again. Except there is a wife and the distance in the middle of your story. It's not going to be any easier.

I had this long response written out, explaining our side, but is it even going to matter? Will it change your mind at all? Will it make you think better of us? No.

I thank you for taking the time to comment.

[CJM987]

Does your wife know about this?

You mean the one who can't carry on a conversation? Who can't remember what day it is? Who doesn't know if she's crapped herself?

[CJM987]

I don't want to judge, but ...

Life is messy. People make mistakes. I can see how not knowing intimate details of the past 20 years of each of our lives makes you feel superior. I hope it never happens to you, but if you get married, and your spouse is almost immediately ill, is so sick that they continually lose employment, has a surgery that goes wrong, almost dies, needs to be intravenously fed, and when you think things might be looking up, basically turns from your companion into your child that you take care of for 8 years (on top of working, keeping up the house, etc with little to no help), you might not think so harshly, and assume we have no idea of the value of marriage.

[autumn1790]

At least you already know what will happen if you go into long term sickness....hope you stay in health.

[Littlewhiteflower]

My fiancé got pretty sick and almost died a year ago. I took care of him for many months while he was recovering and had lost his job and career. I took a part time job while studying full time to be able to survive and help him at the same time. We had to pay full health care without insurances which means thousands of dollars.

I can't compare his case to your wife's story, but we still went through crap together and he was not very lovable nor loving during this time. Did I stay? Yes. Did I cheat on him? no. He still is sick and will remain sick for the rest of his life. Doesn't prevent me from getting married next year and sticking with him in the good and the bad. Your wife is sick. Take care of her. It's your husband's role. You married her for the good AND the bad. Remember. What if you get sick one day? Would you expect your wife to run away and cheat on you? No, well that's the same thing. At least have the decency to divorce her before physically cheating on her. It will please your current SO who wants your wife to end up in a nurse home.