Dealing with 'busy' or 'silent' days

[Restllesss]

Hey guys,

Newbie in LDR here, i've been in a LDR for about 2 months now and we're set to meet on the 7th of october.

In the beginning i struggled quite hard with my emotions and feelings about everything, but last weeks have been pretty good.
This and next week we're both very busy, me with work and her with school, so there's not really a lot of time to talk + i feel like we both have nothing or not much to say due to our days just being school/work and studying when we're free.

Even though i know (or i guess) that this is completely normal, i still feel kind of uneasy/weird about it.

Any tips or some veteran advice?

Cheers!

[autumn1790]

Although it's really so so easy, it's quite unhealthy to make your SO the entire object of your life. You have your own life and responsibilities to take care of. Try to occupy your mind and body with new activities; it gives an added bonus of being a topic of conversation when you do have time to talk. Set a time frame for amount of time between messages that can elapse before one of you gets worried, and don't sweat the odd day/few hours you aren't in constant contact. Overthinking and worrying will kill any relationship.
Feel free to vent on here and ask for advice--welcome aboard!

[Rezie]

It's totally ok to not talk very day. There are days when you don't feel like communicating with humans. There are days when you feel like there is nothing to share. You can send a funny meme and that can be your total communication on one day. It's all fine. Don't worry. If you get into general discussion slump you can always talk about current events, talk about an article you read. Watch the same movie and talk about it.

[Holly Chance]

I know that I get weird when I've not heard from my SO in a certain amount of time, and there are days when it seems like we don't talk as much, but I remind myself that if we were in person all the time, and not living together, we probably wouldn't see each other every day. One of the hardest things for me was not worrying when I don't hear from him. It's easier to work yourself up over imagined scenarios, so for us, being as open as we can about our feelings helps. Good luck with your meet next month!

[Atlantic Crossroads]

I'm not very good with this either. It's amplified for me at least, as I have no friends IRL either. My SO isn't a big talker, so I do most of the conversation, and he replies as and when, really. I don't always like it, because I sometimes feel like I am putting in all the effort, but that is just how he is. When we video chat, it actually seems to be the other way round. He talks a lot, and I hardly say anything!
We are having a quiet day today, as he wanted one yesterday, but it didn't happen in the end. So I'm sitting here typing this, and missing him because I am not good at filling my spare time. I think it's cos I find that I don't want to fill it with anything else! I have plenty of stuff that I could do, but I don't have the energy, focus or motivation for anything. He helps me focus, so that kinda doesn't help.

[Lune]

Hello =)

Every life gets busy now and then, when someone has to work much, learn for studies or school, then added up with a time difference and so on. I also think everyone deals differently with more or less communication. Yet it can be nice to have at least some little cheer up every day that can be just as simple as small messages, saying you think about each other when you do, mentioning something you saw, heard or watched today or so. It doesn't have to be a big topic every time or talking for hours.
What I already did and found cute is recording small videos or voice messages that my partner could watch or listen to when he had time and I was at work or occupied with other things that came up. It helps that you keep up the connection, can be there for each other also when being busy and yeah. But you have to figure together how much you need and what will work for you

All the best!

[snow]

This was more an issue for me than him as he had been single for 8 years before he met me and was just fine doing his own thing, but to me, I wanted to have his attention ALL the time. We simply sat in teamspeak and when we wanted to talk, we talked and if we didn't, we didn't.
On days when we were not available, we would message before and afterwards for a little. He has no phone so I could only reach him on the computer.

Not talking all the time is OK - think about your family and friends. Do you ALWAYS talk? There is peace in quiet

[Restllesss]

Thanks for listening and all the advice guys, appreciate it a lot!

Pretty sure this experience is going to be a big rollercoaster of emotions but, it might all be worth it in the end, who knows
When we are gonna meet we have set one day aside to talk objectively about the future, so we'll know a lot more afterwards.

Thanks once again!

[Redheart14]

Good luck for your first meet up. Please let us know how it goes.