Hi everyone,
I'm new here and I really need some advice as I don't have many people I can talk to or that can relate. My SO(25M) and I(27F) were together since January 2017, and he joined the military and shipped to bootcamp in April of this year. I was able to travel to his graduation in June. He is in A school at the moment, about to finish up. Long distance for us had been going great, we'd check in with each other every day/night and talked on the phone a few times a week. The connection was still there, we were our usual selves. About a month ago, I noticed he started to go out drinking with his buddies more whenever they had the chance... because of this our communication did becomes less than it was before but nonetheless it was still completely normal when we did communicate. About 4 weeks ago, we got into an argument one night(I'd say our first "big" argument LD), where I got really frustrated with him to the point I bursted into tears and it turned into a bigger issue than it needed to be, it also didn't help that he had been drinking as well so he wasn't responding much, which caused me more frustration. I ended the call and he didn't speak to me for the next 2-3 days. He's never done this before (just plain out not speak to me/ ignore me). He then finally told me he knew he was being immature by not talking to me but that he just felt like I was pinning him against the wall and he didn't want to handle that at the moment. We talked on the phone to resolve it and we did clear it up somewhat though things did not completely go back to normal. We talked again in the next fews days because I told him I wasn't feeling back 100% about the situation and if we could talk of how we can work on things so we could avoid something like this happening again. Well, about two and a half weeks ago, he decided to break things off. His reasoning was that he felt very "lost" and realized that he's not giving our relationship the best he can and doesn't know how to deal with it while he's away, he's unhappy. I was blindsided by this because two weeks prior we were planning a trip for me to visit and were saving up for marriage in the future. I told him I accepted his decision even though it hurt. He told me he'd still like to be here for me he's only a call away.
From the weeks that have passed since then I haven't initiated contact with him as I'm still very hurt, and he also hasn't reached out. I do think he is currently talking to someone else from some things I've seen. Wether it's serious or not I don't know, I'm beginning to think he was just letting me down easy when he broke things off. I've also been trying to do my own thing to keep my mind off of it but I'm still just as confused and hurt with what happened.
The few friends who do know this have told me to just let him go, maybe he's realized he wants to enjoy the "lifestyle" and not be tied down and to just cut all contact with him. I haven't stopped caring for him though and I'd like to keep contact but I don't know if that's the best thing for me. I just can't believe things got like this in a matter of a month!
Do any of you have any thoughts or input on this situation? Should I try to mend things? Let it go? Skip being friends all together? I can provide more information of the situation If that'll help...
A little background of him: He tends to avoid confrontational situations if possible. Other than that he's always been a loving over-all a great guy. He's never been abusive or disrespectful throughout the relationship. I think the arguments we have had was from things I have broughten up.
Any advice is welcomed
Thank you!
I'm new here and I really need some advice as I don't have many people I can talk to or that can relate. My SO(25M) and I(27F) were together since January 2017, and he joined the military and shipped to bootcamp in April of this year. I was able to travel to his graduation in June. He is in A school at the moment, about to finish up. Long distance for us had been going great, we'd check in with each other every day/night and talked on the phone a few times a week. The connection was still there, we were our usual selves. About a month ago, I noticed he started to go out drinking with his buddies more whenever they had the chance... because of this our communication did becomes less than it was before but nonetheless it was still completely normal when we did communicate. About 4 weeks ago, we got into an argument one night(I'd say our first "big" argument LD), where I got really frustrated with him to the point I bursted into tears and it turned into a bigger issue than it needed to be, it also didn't help that he had been drinking as well so he wasn't responding much, which caused me more frustration. I ended the call and he didn't speak to me for the next 2-3 days. He's never done this before (just plain out not speak to me/ ignore me). He then finally told me he knew he was being immature by not talking to me but that he just felt like I was pinning him against the wall and he didn't want to handle that at the moment. We talked on the phone to resolve it and we did clear it up somewhat though things did not completely go back to normal. We talked again in the next fews days because I told him I wasn't feeling back 100% about the situation and if we could talk of how we can work on things so we could avoid something like this happening again. Well, about two and a half weeks ago, he decided to break things off. His reasoning was that he felt very "lost" and realized that he's not giving our relationship the best he can and doesn't know how to deal with it while he's away, he's unhappy. I was blindsided by this because two weeks prior we were planning a trip for me to visit and were saving up for marriage in the future. I told him I accepted his decision even though it hurt. He told me he'd still like to be here for me he's only a call away.
From the weeks that have passed since then I haven't initiated contact with him as I'm still very hurt, and he also hasn't reached out. I do think he is currently talking to someone else from some things I've seen. Wether it's serious or not I don't know, I'm beginning to think he was just letting me down easy when he broke things off. I've also been trying to do my own thing to keep my mind off of it but I'm still just as confused and hurt with what happened.
The few friends who do know this have told me to just let him go, maybe he's realized he wants to enjoy the "lifestyle" and not be tied down and to just cut all contact with him. I haven't stopped caring for him though and I'd like to keep contact but I don't know if that's the best thing for me. I just can't believe things got like this in a matter of a month!
Do any of you have any thoughts or input on this situation? Should I try to mend things? Let it go? Skip being friends all together? I can provide more information of the situation If that'll help...
A little background of him: He tends to avoid confrontational situations if possible. Other than that he's always been a loving over-all a great guy. He's never been abusive or disrespectful throughout the relationship. I think the arguments we have had was from things I have broughten up.
Any advice is welcomed
Thank you!
Comment