Sensative men

[BrittBlaz]

So, my SO is a very sensitive guy and sometimes it is hard to have an argument with him about anything because he always takes everything I say and twists it to make me feel like the bad guy, like I am out to get him. This is the only thing about him that drives me nuts.

So my question here is does anyone else have this problem with their SO? If so, how do you deal/cope with it? Or what can you say to that person to make them understand how you feel?

[mynameiseric]

I would say I'm more emotional then sensative. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I tell Amanda how I feel when I feel it, even if I think its going to upset her. She's starting to do the same with me, because it opens up communication and both of you can deal with the problem right then and there, and talk it out and work through it. When her and I get upset, we do sometimes twist the other's words or whatever, because we're so mad at the time we just say what we THOUGHT we heard. Open communication like you're supposed to takes a lot of practice. Just be patient with him and work each problem/issue out 1 by 1 and take it a day at a time. DONT GET FRUSTERATED!

[garnet]

My ex husband, it was like talking to a wall. Rane is so much more in the moment. He listens to every word I say, and takes it to heart. I had a hard time with that for a long long time, because it's so different. My dry sarcasm was no longer ignored or yelled back at, but now could be hurtful. >.< I never meant anything to hurt him, I just wasn't used to watching my mouth, or anyone paying attention, really. Sometimes it's still difficult.

[luna_banana]

My SO is like that too, he cares about what I say a lot more than most boyfriends would. Its stressful sometimes because I'm afraid to say what I'm really thinking because I know it will make him upset. However, communication is the key to a good LDR, and if you're lying it will just lessen the strength of your relationship. I would say that when arguing, you should try to phrase things as nicely as possible. Explain how you feel, but keep in mind how your words may make him feel.

[KyleTheMan]

I consider myself to be a sensitive guy. I take things the wrong way sometimes and i'm always been the one to show or say how i feel as soon as i feel it. My SO has problems with that and she tells me to be stronger yet i shouldn't lose this sensitivity. Basically, i understand her better each day and everything she says to me, i never take it the wrong way anymore. That's how i can be stronger and still be my sensitive self.

Your SO may need to do the same thing. He may need to understand where you come from and understand your attitude and point of view. Once he does that fully, he'll be able to think "Oh, she doesn't mean it like that, no problem!". Of course, that doesn't mean you can go around saying things in mean ways. Understand each others feelings and you'll be able to discuss anything with no problems.

[Moon]

My ex-husband was like that. He wasn't sensitive though, just a jerk I just learned to be very, very careful with my words, that there was no way anything I said could be twisted and used against me! It takes some time and practice, but your SO should understand that his doing that will eventually de-sensitize you! I know for me, his rants just starting going in one ear and out the other, and I stopped paying attention to anything he said to me.

[amandamayaaa]

my SO is very sensitive as well

i've always been the most emotional person in my past relationships so it's so weird to have my boyfriend be just as emotional-if not more-as me

at first i never saw a problem with it because i thought it was so amazing that i didn't feel like an emotional wreck in the relationship.. buuut it's run us into some complications because he lts every..little..thing get to him... most things are things that shouldn't bother him at all, which then causes arguments or disagreements towards certain issues

i still love it because i love how he is so open and isn't afraid to show his emotions.. it makes me feel soo good because we have amazinnggg communication, which is so huge in a LDR

but i just tell him that he needs to try and not let every single thing get to him.. and he knows it, but obviously its a lot easier said then done

[amandamayaaa]

my SO is very sensitive as well

i've always been the most emotional person in my past relationships so it's so weird to have my boyfriend be just as emotional-if not more-as me

at first i never saw a problem with it because i thought it was so amazing that i didn't feel like an emotional wreck in the relationship.. buuut it's run us into some complications because he lts every..little..thing get to him... most things are things that shouldn't bother him at all, which then causes arguments or disagreements towards certain issues

i still love it because i love how he is so open and isn't afraid to show his emotions.. it makes me feel soo good because we have amazinnggg communication, which is so huge in a LDR

but i just tell him that he needs to try and not let every single thing get to him.. and he knows it, but obviously its a lot easier said then done

oh i forgot one huge thing though.. you should try and embrace it as much as possible, i know sometimes it's hard because he over analyzes everything and you wish he didn't.. buuut it makes me think a lot about how lucky i am to have a boyfriend that does show his emotions, and doesn't use the excuse that he's to much of a man to say how he feels, that is something i really really appreciate!

[amandamayaaa]

I would say I'm more emotional then sensative. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I tell Amanda how I feel when I feel it, even if I think its going to upset her. She's starting to do the same with me, because it opens up communication and both of you can deal with the problem right then and there, and talk it out and work through it. When her and I get upset, we do sometimes twist the other's words or whatever, because we're so mad at the time we just say what we THOUGHT we heard. Open communication like you're supposed to takes a lot of practice. Just be patient with him and work each problem/issue out 1 by 1 and take it a day at a time. DONT GET FRUSTERATED!

wowww babe i didn't even realize you wrote on this post haha.. buuut i agree with what you said!

[annamorgan]

I guess my SO is a combination of being sensitive AND insensitive: the hardest combination in the world. It's hard coping with it, but I'm like him in a lot of way, so it helps that I can relate.

[Andy]

I'd say I'm a sensitive guy too, but I think they way your SO is twisting things to make you feel bad has little to do with him being sensitive, that's just not very nice. Does it upset you when he does this?

Also, what exactly do you mean by this?

Or what can you say to that person to make them understand how you feel?

Do you mean that it makes you feel frustrated? Have you told him that you feel like he is twisting your words? Or are you worried telling him that would upset him too?

Sorry for all these questions

[Karringtyn]

My SO is sensitive....at least more than any other man I have been with. It has been hard to get use to..but now I am at a point where I do embrace it.

The twisting of the words you mention though is a huge red flag for me though...been there done that. Maybe I am reading into it too much...

[NikkiP]

So here is my issue. It says on your ticker that you have been in this relationship for about... 3 days longer than I've been in mine... What umm... What are you arguing about after 3 weeks, if you don't mind my asking?

[Bluestars]

I sort of had this problem early on in my relationship, so I can kind of understand where you are coming from. In my case at least, I would not be attempting to have an argument, rather, I would try telling him that something he said upset me or I would offer suggestions about our relationship that I thought needed improvement. However, instead of talking the problem out like I wanted, he would become like a brick wall and just stop talking. When I would ask him what was wrong, he would just say he had nothing to say. In other instances, he freaked out because he thought I was going to dump him, when really I just wanted him to work on something. The tension would build up so bad it would become an argument even though we weren't even "fighting." Ironically, by acting that way, he completely ignored that I was trying to say something important because I had to apologize a zillion times to say I am sorry because that was the only way I could get him to stop.

I had a really hard dealing with his reaction :/ To be honest, I think a lot of it was immaturity because there was no reason to twist what I suggested into an attack on his character. I really do not know how to deal with this though. Luckily, it rarely ever happens anymore. I think we have grown a lot as a couple and now we are a lot better about talking our problems out. I just have to be very careful how I word things now and I have to be a bit more patient.

I know that doesn't give any advice, but I can relate.

I really do not think