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Past mistakes aftereffects

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    Past mistakes aftereffects

    Hello! I've just recently registered here since I need much support on a relationship which is really meaningful to me. It's been going since 1 year and as the title implies, it's about past mistakes that make my girlfriend feel bad once it gets dragged back into thoughts. I really care for her and I need to assure her best so I'm trying hard to make these solved, she's going through enough already and these thoughts really shouldn't pester her all too much.

    There have been many problems as we didn't know that well each other, therefore unaware of what weaknesses. One time there was something planned with her where I agreed that we could do together, however later as I begun she felt intimidated for some reason and the plans ended up being cancelled, she upset. Now this is just an example but it always puts walls between us. Once something happens it's avoided and if it's talked about it she begins to feel bad, saying that we will never do or plan something like that's again. She distances herself for a while ( or goes to sleep ) until she has something else on mind and I'm afraid to sum it up again. She's really sensitive when it comes to her loved once, also there's a lack of trust.

    There has never happened anything such as cheating or whatever, I deal with her temper with ease but also I want her best after all and her freedom. I've been loyal throughout these hard times but I really need help to push our relationship to a maximum. What could I do to free her mind?

    #2
    It's not about you. It's about her. If she distance herself, doesn't communicate well, has trust issues for no reason, the problem is her not you. You could suggest her therapy. She doesn't need to go long. I went 3 or 4 times to learn tools and they were really useful. Meanwhile what you need to do is maybe be patient while she solves the issues. I feel like they are more about past experiences than your own relationship (i might be wrong too).
    - I'll be waiting for you -

    Started talking: December 2015
    First meeting: December 2016
    Second meeting: May 2017 - August 2017
    Third meeting: Septembre 2017 - January 2018
    Engaged: December 2017
    Fourth meeting: May 2018 - August 2018
    Fifth visit: December 2019
    Wedding: September 2019

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