New LDR with a intensely busy German man

[Veeda]

Me and my ldr so met online about two months ago. He works and lives in Germany, I'm in Hong Kong. We are both very career driven. When we first connected, we each were about to start a new career path of our own, with no end date.

Before our new jobs got intense, we'd text and video chat, share everyday details, 3~4 times a day, able to fight the time difference. He works a very high stress job, and have recently became very involved with his new boss. Now our daily texts have reduced to maybe good morning and good night, hardly ever online the same time so we can have some sort of live exchange. As a woman, I think I'm pretty good a multitasking between work, friends, family, and my ldr so. Him however probably not so. His texts now seem emotionless, mostly just reply to what I wrote. I know I have to understand that he now has work completely filled in his brain, probably very little room for relationship. And as my friend who endured a 3 yrs ldr herself, told me as long as he's still replying, he is still interested. Also my other friend who dated a German man before told me they're just not very good at being emotional. I'm a Leo woman, I'm built with emotions.

I know daily communication is a must. But how do I not make it seems like a chore to him? That he'd want to text more instead of just doing what I ask? How I deal with this drop in emotional connection?

[autumn1790]

In my humble opinion, daily communication is not a must. Effective and sufficient communication is a must. If he's not meeting your needs and you objectively think that your needs are not unreasonable, talk to him. Maybe talking every other day would allow him to have more time. Don't worry about what the experts say, figure out what works for you as a couple. Good luck!

[Redheart14]

I’m under the belief that if someone wants to talk to you they will find the time. I know everyone is busy these days but there’s nothing stopping him sending a text while he’s having a coffee or lunch or as he’s leaving home. Sometimes we become so consumed in what’s happening directly in front of us we lose sight of things around us. I’d have a chat to him and bring it to his attention.

[Veeda]

The night before he started his new job, he asked and reassured me that we'd continue to text. Knowing the 5 hours time difference, sleep & work schedules would prevent us to be online the same time so I asked that we at least text to say good night and good morning to each other, share a bit of how our day went and such on the work days. One or two video chats on weekend. Although he agreed that day. Now his texts are like turning in his assignments of some sort. I feel like I dug myself a hole, he's just doing what I asked ( still can't decide if it's just a regular guy thing - just do what you're told ) I understand the fact that starting a new job, trying to get adjusted and fit in, all that can be very stressful. I just started my new career too. And trying to fit everything onto the same plate, ldr included, is very stressful. I'm going to keep things light for few more days. Not to add more stress talking about my needs and such. I'll talk to him on the weekend when he's more relax. On video chat, face to face! Thank you for your replies. Wish me luck!