I’ve been dating my so for a year, I have two kids 4 and 9 and he has 3 10,9, and 5... we live about a 4 hour drive from each other, and while this drive isn’t incredibly long compared to some people... it’s long enough to want to be closer together... I have full custody of my two with them visiting their dad every other weekend... he sees his kids every other weekend as well (or is supposed to if his exs cooperate) and sometimes will go get them extra days here and there...
I have flight benefits because I work for an airline... i see him average about once a week...it’s a 40 minute free flight to see him... but since I have kids it’s hard to find sitters and I can’t imagine sustaining this relationship with any less time spent together ...and it’s way easier for him to come see me (kid wise) but he can’t have my flight benefits until we either get married, or move in together... he’s in a position right now where he can move if he wants to and find a job here... I explained that I can add him to my flight benefits and he can fly down every other weekend to see his kids or even fly them up here... or worse comes to worse and he’d just have to drive the 4 hours for that weekend.(his dad lives there and he can stay with him for the weekend with his kids too)..we’ve met each others kids and our kids have met and everyone gets along and it works well... he still give the excuse not to move because he doesn’t wanna be that far away from his kids until they are older (with his youngest being 5 that’s at least another 5 years of this) I would move there, but that would mean leaving my job AND my flight benefits and that won’t work cause my kids see their dad here. It just makes more sense to me for him to move here but he still says the same thing... I’m trying to figure out if that’s just an excuse and he just doesn’t want to live together or isn’t actually as serious about me as he’s leading on to be ... or if I’m rushing things and need to wait a little longer... trying to decide if an ultimatum (even tho I hate that and don’t want to do that) needs to be given...
Please help me!
I have flight benefits because I work for an airline... i see him average about once a week...it’s a 40 minute free flight to see him... but since I have kids it’s hard to find sitters and I can’t imagine sustaining this relationship with any less time spent together ...and it’s way easier for him to come see me (kid wise) but he can’t have my flight benefits until we either get married, or move in together... he’s in a position right now where he can move if he wants to and find a job here... I explained that I can add him to my flight benefits and he can fly down every other weekend to see his kids or even fly them up here... or worse comes to worse and he’d just have to drive the 4 hours for that weekend.(his dad lives there and he can stay with him for the weekend with his kids too)..we’ve met each others kids and our kids have met and everyone gets along and it works well... he still give the excuse not to move because he doesn’t wanna be that far away from his kids until they are older (with his youngest being 5 that’s at least another 5 years of this) I would move there, but that would mean leaving my job AND my flight benefits and that won’t work cause my kids see their dad here. It just makes more sense to me for him to move here but he still says the same thing... I’m trying to figure out if that’s just an excuse and he just doesn’t want to live together or isn’t actually as serious about me as he’s leading on to be ... or if I’m rushing things and need to wait a little longer... trying to decide if an ultimatum (even tho I hate that and don’t want to do that) needs to be given...
Please help me!
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