Meeting your SO's family and friends

[Atlantic Crossroads]

So, I have been thinking lately that I may go to the US to meet my SO for the first time. I am an anxious person anyway, and especially with people I don't know. It doesn't help that some previous partners' families haven't liked me. I know my SO's dad lives nearby, and visits often, so that is my main worry really.

How do you/did you deal with meeting your SO's significant people in their lives-family, friends etc?

[Jazz0817]

Hey there!

So I flew out to see my SO just last month and I met his friends for the first time. Honestly I'm a bit of an introvert and I have serious anxiety when it comes to meeting people especially when it comes to an SO's friends, family. When I finally met his friends, my heart was just beating so fast and I was almost like a deer in headlights. But I tried my very best to be in the moment. I was still very quiet but when I did get a chance to talk, I just tried to be myself. As the night went on the nerves went away a little. Another thing, they did recognize that I was nervous which they understood of course and your SO's friends will too. They will also know that your SO loves your for a reason and that you're special. If your SO is happy then so will his friends and family. I know you said some of your previous partner's families haven't liked you in the past. But that is the past and I'm sure your SO's family now will be cool! Well I haven't met my SO's family yet but I'm sure everything will be okay <3 I wish you the best. Not sure if this helped.

[kittyo9]

Honestly I was pretty excited to meet my SO's family, albeit a bit nervous. I met them a couple months after we "officially" started dating and stayed with them while I visited my SO. I just tried to be a good guest, but regardless, they were really nice to me and I felt really welcomed, although I kind of clung to my SO's side for a while. It helped that I had some things planned with my SO so that I wasn't with them constantly, and they were also working so they weren't home the whole time. They asked me questions but didn't put all the attention on me all of the time, which was very nice. I saw them again about a month later during my next visit, so we did more things and got to know each other better. I was worried that maybe they were kind of ambivalent about me, but my SO kept reassuring me that they really liked me and they thought I was a good person, etc. I say hi to them all the time when my SO is on the phone with them now. His brother is a little distant just because of his personality and I haven't spent a lot of time with him, but he was comfortable enough to ask me what he should get my SO for Christmas last year, so that's a good sign!

I also met one of my SO's friends from school when I went up this past summer to help him move. Unfortunately most of his other friends had already gone home for the summer, but my SO talked about me so much to them (and about them to me) that it felt like I knew everyone. I had even messaged a few times with one of them thanking them for giving him rides. It felt pretty comfortable overall, especially with my SO by my side, since my SO is my biggest advocate.

My SO first met my parents when I brought him with us on a family vacation. He was really excited to meet them because we'd been dating for a bit longer at that point and we had talked about my family quite a bit by then. He was the first of my SOs that my parents have ever met in person, so I was a bit anxious about him meeting them and what they'd think of him. He totally blew his first impression out of the water by cooking breakfast and grilling a steak dinner for everyone and my parents are basically in love with him now, haha. He always tries to be helpful and cheerful and they love it.

[Atlantic Crossroads]

I suppose my thinking is for a first meeting, that I'd rather it just be us two whilst we get to know each other and settle in, so to speak.
We did have a video call some time ago, where his dad appeared at the door, and came inside. It was so awkward, cos I didn't want to meet anyone, and certainly not online and impromptu like that. I don't think my SO knew what to do either, as his dad came into the room before him, so he was kinda stuck as well. I just sat there feeling really awkward for a while, and then I just hung up. I couldn't see his dad's face, just the side of him by the edge of the sofa. I have no idea whether he knew that I was there or not. He didn't say anything, so I assume not.
I do find myself thinking about his mum though, I will admit to being curious there.
He also has a sister, but she lives up in Alaska, so I won't expect to meet her for a while yet.

[Atlantic Crossroads]

Well, it seems that he is integrating me with them somewhat anyway. He said yesterday that he's taken pictures of the stuff I've sent him, and posted it on facebook. He said "I wanted to share you with those closest to me "