Is this overcommunication in your opinion

[Elis97]

Hi everybody I'm in a LDR since 4 months. We already met 5 times and our relationship is solid. I just have a problem: we established to have every evening we a videocall appointment at 21, and usually we talk for 2 hours. Of course for me is a pleasure, I lost the sense of the passing time. But often he is tired as he works and has to wake up quite early in the morning (I study in university and have a more flexible schedule). I got upset because he is always tired when talking with me, but in the end I realized that maybe we are overcommunicating and he needs some time for himself after dinner, instead of talking every evening with me for 2 hours. What do you think? How much and how often do you talk with your LDR partner? Just to have an idea
thanks!

[Rezie]

There is no such thing as over communication if you are both fine with it. If he is tired then you can suggest that you talk 4 times a week etc. He could also communicate if he is tired. But it's great that you acknowledge this 😊

Me and my bf talk 1-5 times a week depending on the mood. And the texting 1-100 messages a day depending on the mood.

[Harlequin]

When my husband and I are LD, we usually average about an hour a day. He's usually just waking up, and I'm usually making dinner/winding down for the evening. We'd talk more, but that's all the time he has before he has to go to work, and then by the time he gets back, he's headed right for bed and I'm waking up. I don't think there's really such a thing as over-communication either, so long as everyone's cool with it. If you're not too sure if it's too much communication for your relationship, I'd talk to him about it and see how he feels.

[Redheart14]

When my husband and I are LD, we usually average about an hour a day. He's usually just waking up, and I'm usually making dinner/winding down for the evening. We'd talk more, but that's all the time he has before he has to go to work, and then by the time he gets back, he's headed right for bed and I'm waking up. I don't think there's really such a thing as over-communication either, so long as everyone's cool with it. If you're not too sure if it's too much communication for your relationship, I'd talk to him about it and see how he feels.

I agree with this

[5518MilesApart]

I agree with the posts here, it's usually a joint effort and it's awesome that you can tell he is tired and are willing to push the communicating down a bit for his sake.
Whatever is comfortable for you both, there is no such thing as over-communication.

[Littlewhiteflower]

I agree with the other people, except i think that 2 h every night is a little bit much... but it is just from a personal experience. I used to talk a lot to my SO and now, after 3 years it decreased a lot. I was upset about it at the beginning but now I'm fine with it. We all need a bit of time for ourselves especially after a day of work or school. It's not that he doesn't want to be with you or to talk to you, but perhaps after 2h every night, you both might find it hard to find things to talk about and he might just want to decompress on his couch while watching a movie.

I talk with my SO everyday. In days when we are busy, we text a good morning and a good night. On day where we have more time, we exchange a few texts and sometimes call. Our call lasts between 20 and 60 minutes average... we call minimum once a week. I'd rather more but my partner isn't that much into phone calls.

Anyway.. i don't think you should worry or be too upset. Just change your mind and do some stuff. Read a book or do whatever you like to do as a hobby. And try to enjoy the time with him keep being positive and see it differently. 1h phone call that is of quality is better tham 2h that is spent not knowing what to say. After all it is not about the quantity but the quality.