I'm keeping a promise to someone 1,153 miles away...

[Pestilence476]

My gf and I have been dating for almost half a year now. About a month ago I got a text from her mother saying to "find a new 'babe', she would be lucky to get another phone under this roof." Our last texts to each other was saying that we would keep our promise no matter what. I just want to get advice on how to handle this.

[kittyo9]

I feel like maybe there is more context that is needed to fully understand what happened here and where the situation is going. Unfortunately at your age (assuming your SO IS about the same), you are both financially and legally dependent on your parents, with extremely limited resources of your own, and that makes maintaining a LD relationship at that age very challenging.

If your SO has had her phone privileges taken away and that's how you communicated, you will be hard pressed to find anything you can actually do about it. I was in a similar situation myself many years ago with my first LD boyfriend-- not the same exact circumstances, but we had our primary line of communication (the internet) removed for a period of time. We maintained the relationship by finding a different means to communicate (calling via cell phone-- no texting as I did not have texting), but it was very limited since I could only call after 9pm and we were in school, so we could only stay up so late. Eventually the relationship deteriorated as we missed calls and spent more time apart. We were both too young and lacked the resources to adapt to the circumstances, and eventually we broke up.

I am not saying that this will happen to you, but I know that at your age it feels noble to keep a promise to wait for someone under challenging circumstances, when realistically neither of you can really do much about it. The truth is that you will meet a lot of people and your personality and circumstances will change form over the next ten years of your life and I would not want to see you hold yourself back on a distant hope. Long distance relationships are very resource intensive and it may be better to just cut your losses if you're unable to find a new way to carry on with the relationship.