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Any advice for someone considering to move?

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    Any advice for someone considering to move?

    Ive just visited my SO, who lives about 800 miles from me. While being in his place and spending time with him, I feel at home, natural, like this is where im supposed to be. I want to be with him so badly. The thing thats hard is my family and friends are back home and jobs down here are not as high paying and more scarce. Although my SO and i have known each other for about 6 years, we didnt talk for about 5 years in between and just start dating a few months ago. Im scared to move but I know that all i want is to be with him. Is it crazy to move away from everything i know for love? What other considerations should I think about before moving? Moving is huge and I've never done it before except for college. Any advice or suggestions would be amazing.

    #2
    You’ll need to consider if you can stand moving away from family and friends. You don’t want to end up resentful towards your SO if you get homesick and struggle being in a new place. From my time on this forum, finding work also seems to be another thing that causes a strain on an ldr when they close the distance. Is your job transferable? Or could you find work there easily?

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      #3
      Yeah i definitely dont want to end up resenting him, and although my friends and family have said they will visit, i know how that doesnt always happen. Work is tough in South Carolina in general and pay is not great. I live in connecticut right now. I could find a job in my field and probably fairly easily but its the pay that worries me.

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        #4
        Is it possible for him to move to you? I had the same issue with my former So. He also lived 800 miles from me and my family and friends were highly against it. If he cannot move to you then I would highly suggest you think about yourself first. Like being able to find some form of work over there and being able to support yourself. Always make sure you have enough money for a place of your own as well just incase things don’t work out as time goes by.

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          #5
          The move has to be something you would want with or without your SO. Certainly your SO is going to be a big part of it, but it has to be worthwhile on it's own.

          Do some research on the area. City data.com is a good start. Check out cost of living as well.
          Work your contacts. Find a recruiter in your field and get them putting out feelers.
          If you travel for work, see if you can get some assignments, conferences, classes in that area.
          look at other aspects of your career that are more location independent. Sales jobs with home offices , teleworking, working for one of the suppliers for your current field.
          Subscribe to glassdoor.com for job announcements in that area.
          Is there a university or college there to attend classes for another certification that would open opportunities in addition to what you already have?
          Can you start a PT position where you are that will give you experience to change career jobs in the new place? (this is what my SO did)
          Do you have a degree you are not using in your current career that would give you an opportunity in your new place?

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            #6
            The thing is he has a mortgage, i live with my parents still. My friends and family arent highly against it just want me to be careful. Im good with money which is great and i know if things go south i could move back home.

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              #7
              I have my masters and a beginning license and im working toward the next license in my field. I have a full time job in my field currently.

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                #8
                Originally posted by nicoledell11 View Post
                I have my masters and a beginning license and im working toward the next license in my field. I have a full time job in my field currently.
                Cost of living calculator:

                If you are living at home currently, then you need to be putting away 25% of your take home for housing. $61,000 for a downpayment on a median priced home ($305,000) there. Even if someday you two moved in together you could still have a passive income by renting out one of the houses. Quick search shows $1350 is the median rent per month for an apartment...

                Best thing to make a relationship work? Positive cash flow....Seriously...
                Last edited by 2Rocky; December 11, 2018, 01:26 PM.

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