Advice

[moomoo072001]

I'm frustrated in my relationship and I'm not sure what to do because I think I love him still but theres a boy in my class that's just now being nice to me and I had a crush on him before I met my long distance SO. Any advice?

[Littlewhiteflower]

Well if you are in a committed relationship, you should be committed to your SO. Whether you had a crush on someone before shouldn't matter...

[Ejoriah]

If you've agreed to be in a monogamous exclusive relationship with your SO, then your two options are really 1) figure out why you're frustrated and work on the relationship or 2) break it off and potentially pursue this new person.

[moomoo072001]

Thank you. This is what I'm trying to decide to do. I'm not sure what to do yet.

[autumn1790]

Gonna be honest, there's a guy in my nursing program that last semester I was crushing super hard on, heart throb at the sight, yadi yadi. It was pretty bad. However, I knew/know he could probably never treat me the way I want to be treated, the way my SO does. I can see growing old with my SO, not with this guy. I eventually had to tell me SO about it and promise/follow through to ignore the guy and try to avoid him, and now I have no crushy feelings anymore. (It helps that he got a gf and has toned it down ) So basically my advice is, figure out if your SO is someone you see yourself with in 5, 10, 15, 20 years, etc. Or is it just the attention from a guy that feels good (not saying that negatively, just realistically). Good luck!

[moomoo072001]

The guy I'm crushing on is super sweet and he does these little things that make me smile and that makes it more difficult. I have no idea if he feels the same towards me but that doesn't matter right now exactly. My SO can be nice but when he gets mad he's actually mad and it's a little scary. But the problem is really with him that i am really lonely and I literally just want a simple hug all the way around arms. I haven't had one of those since 8th grade. My SO and I are not the same religion which is a problem with mine if we plan to marry eventually.

[Lune]

Heyho

With reading through it all I can just say, in every relationship are phases where problems come up, smaller and also bigger ones. When being with someone it is not always about the nice things but also about going through struggles together, depending on what they are of course, since there can be a variety into different reactions. Yet what I wanna say is that often people you meet new can seem to be so much better, paying more attention and so on. And there have been cases where someone left their former partner for someone and it worked out.
BUT nothing guarantees that it will and before doing that you should be clear about what is going on, what you miss in your current relationship and if you really find the other person more interesting because you like them as the person they are or because they seem to be giving you what you are missing. Instead of jumping on a new train too quick it might be better to try working on the lack of things you have in your current relationship. You say you love him, you are together for a year now so it should be worth trying it, or? Go into yourself and see what you want, where you see yourself like autumn said and with whom. It might be not that easy to plan so much into the future already, the feeling can be there already still.

Another thing that might be relevant is what you mean with your SO being 'scary' when mad.

I saw in another thread that you took a break now? Did you do that because he yelled at you in this situation or does this happen more often? How did he react to the pause or when you ask him why he gets so loud and if you cannot talk about this in a normal way and try to figure out a solution together.
Yet I don't get the question of what it means to take a pause from you. It sounds like you took it so you should know how you define it. Taking a break instead talking and going through a rough time together often makes it worse though.