While I was travelling abroad I met a guy and we met 5 different times since half a year back now. It was amazing from start and we fell quickly. It was never perfectly stable, saying goodbye many times thinking we will never see eachother again. Yet we kept meeting somehow, up until the very last time two months ago. This is when he abruptly, ended it. It broke my heart. He told me he didn't love me, later he told me he was over me. It was very hurtful since I was really just falling in love with him. I didn't understand why it had ended because we were so great together. So for him to suddenly have a change of heart, I could not understand. He explained to me later it was because of his studies, that he feels like he is "drugged" and loses himself while being in love and he can simply not handle it. He told me it was because he wasn't ready to commit, though I never asked so much of him, but we were becoming more serious. We had this simple idea that we would keep going for as long as we wanted to see eachother. This is the first time he falls in love and I guess the longest he has seen a girl, he is also younger than me by few years. Still though, now months after our "break up" we are wondering how to go forward. Now my feelings for him are fading, I don't feel so in love, neither does he, we haven't seen eachother or talked much for two months.. but we are still having feelings for eachother and missing one another every day. Still sad.
Our long distance.. it's a bit tricky because we are at a time in our lives where everything changes alot. Since we are both studying we don't really have time to see eachother often, neither do we have the money to go back and forth every month. We are not THAT far away, 2,5h flight. I am going to spend the summer where he lives, but that's in another 6 months. Then afterwards he has the possibility to live in my country as exchange student for a year.
We want eachother but we know it is not gonna work out and we don't dare to risk our feelings. I feel we are unexplored and so far we have been good together "dating", but we never built up a deep connection because of the distance and because we always said this is for the moment. Yet here we are, half a year later, still wondering what to do. Is it worth the risk of getting hurt? Or is it best to let go now? I feel like I'm so torn between wanting to go crazy and between protecting myself from what could happen. I don't trust his feelings anymore because of how he change them so quickly, what if he does this again in two months?
I never felt as deeply for anyone as I do with him, funnily enough since I probably know him the least out of the people I thought myself being in love with. He has made me feel things I didn't even know you can feel when you are in love... I feel like we make so much sense when we are together, like everything just falls into place. Like every moment with him is a movie scene. When I look back at our memories together I want to run towards him because they are so great. I don't know if this is something to hold on to or if you can feel it often with people at beginning. I used to be in a relationship where we fought SO often, I never knew that you could be with someone like this without fighting at all.. but I'm afraid he will break my heart again, that he will freak out again. He admits what he did was rushed and he should have waited. I think I also pushed him to tell me how he felt when he was confused and freaking out.
So what do I do? How do you know when something is worth fighting for? How do you trust someone that broke your heart? How do you trust someone that is unstable and not knowing what he wants? I'm really so confused.. we decided to take our time and not rush a decision now, but I keep thinking "it's over" in my head because how will we ever make it even through this year.. All I feel right now is that I want him, I want to be with him and explore us.. but I don't know if I'm in love with him anymore because I have not seen him nor talked to him much. I want to go see him alot, but I'm afraid I will fall for him and what if he doesn't feel the same anymore? It will hurt so much. I'm just so confused, is it supposed to be this hard?
Our long distance.. it's a bit tricky because we are at a time in our lives where everything changes alot. Since we are both studying we don't really have time to see eachother often, neither do we have the money to go back and forth every month. We are not THAT far away, 2,5h flight. I am going to spend the summer where he lives, but that's in another 6 months. Then afterwards he has the possibility to live in my country as exchange student for a year.
We want eachother but we know it is not gonna work out and we don't dare to risk our feelings. I feel we are unexplored and so far we have been good together "dating", but we never built up a deep connection because of the distance and because we always said this is for the moment. Yet here we are, half a year later, still wondering what to do. Is it worth the risk of getting hurt? Or is it best to let go now? I feel like I'm so torn between wanting to go crazy and between protecting myself from what could happen. I don't trust his feelings anymore because of how he change them so quickly, what if he does this again in two months?
I never felt as deeply for anyone as I do with him, funnily enough since I probably know him the least out of the people I thought myself being in love with. He has made me feel things I didn't even know you can feel when you are in love... I feel like we make so much sense when we are together, like everything just falls into place. Like every moment with him is a movie scene. When I look back at our memories together I want to run towards him because they are so great. I don't know if this is something to hold on to or if you can feel it often with people at beginning. I used to be in a relationship where we fought SO often, I never knew that you could be with someone like this without fighting at all.. but I'm afraid he will break my heart again, that he will freak out again. He admits what he did was rushed and he should have waited. I think I also pushed him to tell me how he felt when he was confused and freaking out.
So what do I do? How do you know when something is worth fighting for? How do you trust someone that broke your heart? How do you trust someone that is unstable and not knowing what he wants? I'm really so confused.. we decided to take our time and not rush a decision now, but I keep thinking "it's over" in my head because how will we ever make it even through this year.. All I feel right now is that I want him, I want to be with him and explore us.. but I don't know if I'm in love with him anymore because I have not seen him nor talked to him much. I want to go see him alot, but I'm afraid I will fall for him and what if he doesn't feel the same anymore? It will hurt so much. I'm just so confused, is it supposed to be this hard?