What does he mean when he says....?

[COgrl789]

So both my friend and I have had our SO say this to us. They invite us to go to a wedding or an event out of state and then says "Well, but since I'm busy we won't have a chance to spend together..." Its like they invite us to act the part, but never intended or wanted us to go with them!

Any insight in this? A guys perspective would be nice too.

[lisaar910]

I think you might be over thinking this a bit. He probably wants you there, but doesn't want you to be upset when he has responsibilities with the wedding/event. I don't think it's that he doesn't really want you there or just wants you to act the part. Guys don't seem to be as concerned with acting a part like girls sometimes are. He probably wants to spend as much time as he possibly can with you but also knows that he can't be with you constantly because of other obligations. I'd be flattered to just be invited and happy that he's taking your feelings into consideration.

[will]

Did he invite you as part of him telling you about it? Or did he tell you about the wedding, and then invite you because you might have felt bad that he hadn't extended the invitation?

[Čternity]

Can I just clarify this please? So you are both invited to the wedding. But they say that if you do go, you can't spend time together because at the wedding they will be busy with their friends so you may as well not go to the wedding and they then go alone?

[Rosebud]

I think what lisaar said hit the nail on the head. It's more like your SO's DO want you with them there, but not to be upset if you feel ignored because chances are they will be busy. It doesn't mean they don't actually want you there (that's why you were invited!), I just think they don't want you to view it as some event or outing specifically to spend time together. Don't take it as a bad thing

[Karringtyn]

I think you might be over thinking this a bit. He probably wants you there, but doesn't want you to be upset when he has responsibilities with the wedding/event. I don't think it's that he doesn't really want you there or just wants you to act the part. Guys don't seem to be as concerned with acting a part like girls sometimes are. He probably wants to spend as much time as he possibly can with you but also knows that he can't be with you constantly because of other obligations. I'd be flattered to just be invited and happy that he's taking your feelings into consideration.

Exactly!!! Well Said!

[COgrl789]

Will, he told me about this wedding months ago and that he was going to be in it. We were planning on meeting up sometime but the wedding was there too. So he suggested that maybe I could go and then said but then I won't spend anytime with you. So maybe that's out.

Čternity, it was for one of his friends wedding in another state and I never met them.

[lisaar910]

I still think he's just trying to make sure your feelings don't get hurt in case he can't spend much time with you at the wedding. Just because he didn't invite you when he first knew about the wedding doesn't necessarily mean he didn't want you to come. Depending on the importance of a wedding I attend, I probably wouldn't invite my SO unless I knew he was going to be here during that time. If you're upset about this, maybe you should talk to him about it though. Approach it like you just want to clarify what he said and try not to accuse him of not wanting you to go.

[paulawriteslove]

If this situation is really bothering you, then I suggest that you talk to him and tell him how you're feeling. Or just ask him to clarify if you're going our not. best of luck!

[COgrl789]

Oh its not really bothering me. But when another friend brought it up it just triggered some memories. Thanks though!