Struggling with LDR

[Ellie1997]

Me and my now boyfriend met a year ago and have managed to do LDR for a year, visiting each other whenever we both have time off work. It is going well so far, however we are growing closer and closer and every time I have to leave to go back home I become so upset and find it so hard to say goodbye.
Once I am back home I am fine within myself but struggle as I miss him a lot and get jealous when I see my friends out with their partners and I can’t do that...
I find it really hard that we can’t be ‘normal’
he constantly tells me it will be fine and that I need to trust him and we will be together properly soon (moving in together) but I’m a bit lost at the moment...
Do I put myself through the pain and wait for us to be together or end it??
I love this boy so much but I feel like I’m living my life just constantly waiting to see him or upset that I’m not with him😒

[Sun_King]

Definitely understand how you feel.

Me and my lady friend are going through the same thing, and it's never easy to learn and cope with at times. Sometimes when we're both busy she'll message telling me she misses me and how it gets lonely and vice versa.

We've been going through it for nearly three years now. Started dating while I was still in the army, and each trip fell-through that we planned because of unexpected and external circumstances.

LDR is not for everyone, and I'm of the mindset for most folks it just sort of happens and most of us don't actively choose it as our first choice for a relationship.

When me and my lady started, she asked me if it would be an issue and if I still wanted to be with her knowing it could be years until we're able to live together at last due to med school (she came to the states for a short while but had to leave early because the cost of living was too high for her at the time)

Ask youself, do you find it worth it? Can you find what is it about him elsewhere? Do you have definite or are working towards plans to embark and live together? Any type of timeline sorted?

[nicoledell11]

I 100% know how you feel. I struggle each time after a visit. We have been lucky to see each other about once a month but now itll be 2 months.

He keeps mentioning that he is going to move by with jobs and things like that I'm not sure if it actually gonna be able to happen. If he doesn't move up to be with me wevare not able to be together together for another almost 2 years before I can move to him due to my schooling.

He seems like he is going to move in about 6 months however things change with him all the time so it's hard and I don't wanna get my hopes up for them to be crushed down.

I wish i had advice for you but i do know how you feel.

[Tashad83]

I can totally relate! I think all we can do is surrender and love as hard as we can x

[Lucyyunli]

I know how you feel being in a ldr for almost 9 years now and being married for almost a year and still ldr it's so difficult.

Best questions to ask yourself is are they worth it? Do they make you happier than anyone else? And if you weren't in a relationship with them would you feel even worse not having that person there to talk to?

[MMusik]

I know exactly how you feel! When those times come up for me I know I need to try to stop the sadness train from leaving the station fast, I find it helpful to try to stay in the moment and distract myself. I will do a puzzle, coloring, art project or if I'm lucky do a meditation. For me it helps to catch when I'm getting super bummed and sad early on.

[blessedwife]

Based on my experience, you are feeling normal, saying goodbye to your love from time to time is very hard. but that is part of the LDR. before when we were bf/gf, He is not home for work for like 9mos!..and i also get jealous when i see my friends with their partners. my advise is that you keep yourself busy while waiting for the time you see him, in that way, you won't be that sad. and i did that for almost 5 yrs of being together before we got married. Just trust your guy that he will keep his promise. . Pray for him also. That worked for us

[2Rocky]

Believe it or not that is a good sign that you miss his company. Post visit depression is a huge thing we all have to deal with.

The important thing is to have goals and deadlines to work towards. In the last 3 years, I've had a number of things I wanted to accomplish with the ultimate goal of closing the distance. The parts of a remodel I was doing required my close attention while I was doing it. I had to pour myself into those projects between visits because she was so supportive, and I wanted them to be ready FOR her. I became more disciplined with my time, and it seemed to go faster.

Now we are 18 days away from her one way move...My mind is scattered and I'm disorganized. the house is a mess...Her moving pod JUST arrived and you know what....Now I'm Sure it has been worth it...