My boyfriend is Korean and just returned to his hometown a couple days ago (while I live in the US). He's going to be staying there for a very long time because of the mandatory military service they require in S. Korea, so these last few days have been incredibly hard for me. I'm constantly upset and depressed and I don't want to do anything at all. I don't know what to do to make this better. I feel so hopeless about it. I also feel like I'm trying to contact him too much. He has jet lag so his sleep schedule is off but it's even harder since his time zone is the complete opposite of mine. I feel so clingy but I just want to talk to him all of the time... I just need some advice, for the relationship maybe, but really for myself and how to approach this.
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I had trouble adjusting when me and my SO first met (I'm in Ireland, he's in the US). I am 8 hours ahead of him, and when I flew over there I felt off for most of my stay. I was starting to adjust, then I had to leave!
I've only been over once, so I can't really give you much advice on that side of things, unfortunately.
I was also very clingy at the start of our relationship too. Neither of us work or study, so we had most of the day to talk, and we did. Obviously, we couldn't sustain it in the long run. I was staying up until the early hours of the day to speak with him, and he couldn't get anything done during daylight hours because of me! It subsided in time, cos I just couldn't cope with the sleep deprivation. We agreed to a schedule for talking, so we got a better balance of chatting and doing day to day stuff. We've re-negotiated that a few times since then too, as things change in our lives.
Nowadays we tend to talk by private message most days of the week, and google hangouts on the weekend. Emails for anniversaries, and video calls on an ad hoc basis depending on our moods and my data allowance. If my internet runs out, I text him so he doesn't worry. Oftentimes that falls on a weekend, and I can't get a top up until Monday.
You'll find out what works for the two of you, but it will likely change over time too.
In regards to your mood, the best advice really is to keep yourself busy as much as you can. The more free time you have for thinking, the more you tend to miss them. Maybe write letters or make up parcels to send him. I make monthly parcels for my SO, and he likes the cards I send him inside, where I've rambled on about any number of silly things.
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