Meeting Long Distance girlfriend for the first time this week. Scared as shit.

[UnevenRemainder]

I’ve (25m) been on and off with this woman (34f) for six months. We seem to get along great, we have so much in common and are undoubtedly physically attracted to each other (she’s seen me at my WORST, lookswise). This past month we started talking again and things heated up with us when I offered to come down to see her for the first time and make regular visits to her and have her come here regularly. My concern is that we rushed a little quick, partially my fault for telling her if things go well, I would consider moving to her. She connected me with her children (she has two, both have my number and always hit me up), introduced me virtually to her mom, and is always talking about long term stuff like marriage, our future together, etc. She also makes a lot of sex jokes and alludes to it frequently with me (though I do too), and she told me in the past men had issues pleasing her properly (skipping foreplay). I get the fear sex is all she wants. Or that it’s really important and I won’t be able to keep up. She also told all her friends about me, sending me screenshots of their conversations about me. She also has my picture on her nightstand. She also calls me her boyfriend (though we haven’t met) and posts me on her page.

We also FaceTime and text every day on hours end which might be a bad thing... I don’t know if I should cut it so we can enjoy each other’s company and it won’t go dry (it has in the past with excessive communication) or what.

The date is supposed to be:
First day: gym (we’re both hardcore lifters but I can’t help but feel this is too much friendzone territory), dinner then drinks... I don’t know how I feel about this. Dinner tends to be dry.

Second Day: run an errand, get the kids, do something fun then dinner.

Third: Brunch with her family (fucking kill me; she set this up)

I’m not gonna lie I’m scared as FUCK. Because (a) what if she doesn’t like me in person or gets bored when the anticipation of me visiting wears off? Though I’ve been nothing but honest about who I am, and I’m pretty sure the first 3/4 of the first day is gonna be me being nervous. (b) what if I fuck up the date somehow or if I fuck up in bed? She seems very sexually driven. (c) What if sex all she wants? Though I mean if that was the case she wouldn’t have introduced me to her mom, kids, and told all her friends about me, right? So that can’t be the case. What if she can’t stand me? I’m hearing all this shit about chemistry being different but like is there a way to prevent that from going to shit?

Also she saw what I look like down there already. I’m not even bragging, but I’m bigger than average and she’s tight because she only had c-sections. I showed her weeks ago on FaceTime and she looked almost scared. But assured me it’ll be fine. I’m afraid I’ll hurt her if I go a certain way. Should I just say I’m not ready for sex? I’m at a double edged sword because i won’t see her again for like two or three weeks. Or ever if I fuck up.

[Lune]

Hey

First meetings are always a mix of excitement, happiness, nervousness and fear I guess. Since on one side you know someone already but there is still so much more to discover, yet that is the thing with everything what is new and no matter how it turns out it always is gaining life experience and makes you smarter (in most cases) with giving answers to important questions.

I don't think that it sounds like she is only out for sex, because then she could get it pretty easy with an app or so people use for finding hookups. The way she includes you in her life already seems a lot like she wants to go serious, especially when also introducing you to her kids, what is a big deal I would say.

To your questions:
a) You will only find that out when meeting and she is surely nervous as well, since all you fear could happen to your feelings too. You could also realize, yeah, you like this woman a lot but not as much as you thought you did or so. Or it could just turn out pretty great for you like you wish for and will be fine Whatever comes up, you both should be able to talk about it and see how to deal with the situation

b) If she would turn you away because of this, would you really wanna be with her? Right now it sounds more like pressure than pleasure and normally the fun should be there for both partners, or? With someone new everyone has to find out what are the likes, the dislikes and so on and if you really like each other a lot you will be able to try out and talk about stuff as well.

c) Similar to b. If that is all she wants, do you wanna be with her? If she only wishes for that then a relationship might not be the right thing and more some friendship or so.

The advice that really can be given for the first meeting is being yourself and see how it turns out. And til now it sounds like she likes who you are no matter if good phases or bad. Try not to listen or read too much about horror stories, because there is never a guarantee and everyone has to find out for their own. To every bad story there is also good ones where it worked and works out totally fine. Also with your private stuff. If it happens then it happens and both of you will find your way with it without thinking too much probably

To the other things, if you both like to go to the gym, then this is cool. I would prefer a place where I am alone with my partner so you can realize you finally meet, really can focus on each other without any distractions and get to know each other better. What you will do on the other side in your evening planning. Yet too much planning is sometimes not even required and it all falls in place spontaneously.

All the best.

[pretty ll vacant]

Just breathe, relax.. there’s a reason you guys kept up conversation this long and still have a strong pull towards one another. Your nerves are getting the best of you. My BF and I were both the same train wrecks the first time we met, and he was a virgin so amplify your concerns x1000.

Everyone is different and every outcome is different but remember what it was that drew you towards her and just relax. It’s easier said than done. If you’re really serious about her then you’ll end up making compromises. You have to use your observational skills to determine if she’s really worth it or not. Hope your first meeting goes great and the best advice is to just be yourself.

[Ranidae]

Duuuuuude! Relax It will all be fine!

I was in a somewhat similar situation with my boyfriend. After months of discussing, we were both super stressed about meeting IRL... it turned out to be 4 days of purified epicness.
Even though your girlfriend seems to have thoroughly planned the weekend, remember she is most likely equally "scared as shit"! Try not to anticipate too much and enjoy the weekend. Repeat after me: IT. WILL. BE. FINE!

(I'm already looking forward to your debrief post "What a drama queen I was last week"! )