So almost an year ago I casually met a guy in a rpg (roleplay) game on my phone.. It all started good at first and within days we became good friends. Later on he asked for my fb account and began chatting there daily. He turned out to be a really good guy, very mature and always willing to support me and to give advice. What I really appreciated about him was his kindness and his effort to speak to me in English even though it wasn't his native language. He made lots and lots of mistakes and to be honest there were times where I didn't understand him but in the end he always tried to explain and so I was able to understand almost all the ‘hidden' messages he sent in these texts. Lately though he has been really busy with work and life in general, his father died years ago so he takes care of his smaller brother and mother, a very hard responsibility. His main concern is the lack of money.. His mother on the other hand is trying to get him married.. Being 24 years old now and a Bangladeshi citizen, it is more than normal to do an arranged marriage in that kind of countries.
Anyways what I'm trying to say is that we sort of created a virtual relationship after almost a month of being online friends and I really cared and loved for him despite living in different countries. So did he.. We would tell each other everything about our lives, share opinions and even intimate things, he would also tell me about how much he wished to meet me even just 1 time in real life.. But like I said before, the problem was the lack of money.
9 months have passed since we met in that game.. but things began to change. 1 month ago he began to get colder and distant as if something had happened. I of course sensed that and tried to find out by asking him what had happened or if I had done or said something wrong to him. One night, seeing that he didn't message me first like he almost always did, I decided to open messenger. I saw him online.. It kind of hurt at first to see that he was online but hadn't even sent a simple “hey..”. I should mention that he had done this before, I mean ignoring me for different reasons (for example if he was outside with friends or family etc) but this time I wanted to know why.
So after a few brief texts of “hi hello what are you doing” I stopped texting him and went to sleep that night, noticing his coldness. The next morning he sent a message but not a good morning text with heart and kiss emojis.. The text said “Hey.. I need to tell you something”.
Needless to say he explained to me how much he felt alone there and that he needed an actual girlfriend, a life partner. All this time be both knew very well that the possibilities of meeting in real life were very little but nonetheless we kept living in this kind of virtual world, this illusion we had created.
He then showed me a picture of a girl that his family had “found” for him. What surprised and hurt me most though was his behavior.. He was really eager to delete everything like pictures texts and all things we had sent to each other in those months, afraid that his “future life partner” would see them. It really hurt my feelings.... I had grown quite attached to him but maybe I had made a mistake. Maybe after all he had just used me. After a few texts of saying how much I wished him good luck in life and that if he was happy then I would be happy, we deleted all contacts.
But to my surprise he hadn't deleted himself as a follower on my Instagram account. 3 days after that I casually met him in the game where everything started and he texted me there saying he missed me and that he wanted to talk again on messenger. Later on that night I opened the messenger application and indeed there where 6 unread messages from the day he had told me about this girl. The strange part though that the first message had been sent exactly one hour after saying goodbye and deleting our contacts. He explained to me that this girl's family had problems with their other daughter and that this girl wasn't currently searching for a boyfriend.
I remained cold and somewhat distant for a few days but soon enough we ended up texting like before.. He saying that he missed talking to him, loved me and all that stuff. Now he once again became suddenly distant and I wouldn't be surprised if he told me he would get married to someone. A few days I go I finally had enough and told him a lie. He asked how I was doing lately or if I had any news in general so I lied by saying “Yes I made new friends, there is this guy he is so nice I like him”. I told him that just to see his reaction or if he would reveal something that perhaps he was hiding.
His reply was almost exactly the same “Oh really? That's great. And I met a nice girl I really like her”. So the thing is? Is he serious? Or is he trying to fool be by behaving childishly?
I kept the conversation going by asking him “So do you like her?” “Yes but only as a friend.. She talks to every guy and I don't like that. But she is really cute and beautiful I must be honest.”
“So you like her right? There's nothing bad if she talks to other guys as long as she doesn't do anything wrong. If you like her try to win her”. I encouraged him. It may sound stupid but I did say that to him. Then I asked him how come he hadn't told me anything earlier. His reply was “Because I was waiting for the right moment, it would be a surprise”. Really? What surprise?? You really are fooling me young man.
Since then we both text with a simple hi or hello nothing more. I noticed his lack of interest so I decided to act cold myself. The truth is though that I still think of him and when I do, I miss him. I miss that sweet funny guy that was always there talking giving advice or playing with me in that game. I myself have been through a lot too, lost my mother less than two years ago and his friendliness, even by distance, helped me. But apparently he lost interest in me... and maybe as much as it hurts to think he also might have used me only because like he said, he felt lonely and with no girlfriend. I see him more like a fake person and an opportunist now but I might be wrong.
(By the way I'm only 4 years younger than him and it's my first time experiencing this kind of long distance relationship)
Anyways what I'm trying to say is that we sort of created a virtual relationship after almost a month of being online friends and I really cared and loved for him despite living in different countries. So did he.. We would tell each other everything about our lives, share opinions and even intimate things, he would also tell me about how much he wished to meet me even just 1 time in real life.. But like I said before, the problem was the lack of money.
9 months have passed since we met in that game.. but things began to change. 1 month ago he began to get colder and distant as if something had happened. I of course sensed that and tried to find out by asking him what had happened or if I had done or said something wrong to him. One night, seeing that he didn't message me first like he almost always did, I decided to open messenger. I saw him online.. It kind of hurt at first to see that he was online but hadn't even sent a simple “hey..”. I should mention that he had done this before, I mean ignoring me for different reasons (for example if he was outside with friends or family etc) but this time I wanted to know why.
So after a few brief texts of “hi hello what are you doing” I stopped texting him and went to sleep that night, noticing his coldness. The next morning he sent a message but not a good morning text with heart and kiss emojis.. The text said “Hey.. I need to tell you something”.
Needless to say he explained to me how much he felt alone there and that he needed an actual girlfriend, a life partner. All this time be both knew very well that the possibilities of meeting in real life were very little but nonetheless we kept living in this kind of virtual world, this illusion we had created.
He then showed me a picture of a girl that his family had “found” for him. What surprised and hurt me most though was his behavior.. He was really eager to delete everything like pictures texts and all things we had sent to each other in those months, afraid that his “future life partner” would see them. It really hurt my feelings.... I had grown quite attached to him but maybe I had made a mistake. Maybe after all he had just used me. After a few texts of saying how much I wished him good luck in life and that if he was happy then I would be happy, we deleted all contacts.
But to my surprise he hadn't deleted himself as a follower on my Instagram account. 3 days after that I casually met him in the game where everything started and he texted me there saying he missed me and that he wanted to talk again on messenger. Later on that night I opened the messenger application and indeed there where 6 unread messages from the day he had told me about this girl. The strange part though that the first message had been sent exactly one hour after saying goodbye and deleting our contacts. He explained to me that this girl's family had problems with their other daughter and that this girl wasn't currently searching for a boyfriend.
I remained cold and somewhat distant for a few days but soon enough we ended up texting like before.. He saying that he missed talking to him, loved me and all that stuff. Now he once again became suddenly distant and I wouldn't be surprised if he told me he would get married to someone. A few days I go I finally had enough and told him a lie. He asked how I was doing lately or if I had any news in general so I lied by saying “Yes I made new friends, there is this guy he is so nice I like him”. I told him that just to see his reaction or if he would reveal something that perhaps he was hiding.
His reply was almost exactly the same “Oh really? That's great. And I met a nice girl I really like her”. So the thing is? Is he serious? Or is he trying to fool be by behaving childishly?
I kept the conversation going by asking him “So do you like her?” “Yes but only as a friend.. She talks to every guy and I don't like that. But she is really cute and beautiful I must be honest.”
“So you like her right? There's nothing bad if she talks to other guys as long as she doesn't do anything wrong. If you like her try to win her”. I encouraged him. It may sound stupid but I did say that to him. Then I asked him how come he hadn't told me anything earlier. His reply was “Because I was waiting for the right moment, it would be a surprise”. Really? What surprise?? You really are fooling me young man.
Since then we both text with a simple hi or hello nothing more. I noticed his lack of interest so I decided to act cold myself. The truth is though that I still think of him and when I do, I miss him. I miss that sweet funny guy that was always there talking giving advice or playing with me in that game. I myself have been through a lot too, lost my mother less than two years ago and his friendliness, even by distance, helped me. But apparently he lost interest in me... and maybe as much as it hurts to think he also might have used me only because like he said, he felt lonely and with no girlfriend. I see him more like a fake person and an opportunist now but I might be wrong.
(By the way I'm only 4 years younger than him and it's my first time experiencing this kind of long distance relationship)