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Am I Moving too Fast? Crazy? Or is it Him?

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    Am I Moving too Fast? Crazy? Or is it Him?

    So I met Joe three months ago. I never met anyone I could talk to like I could him. Our value systems align and we could talk for five plus hours a day. A month in we talked about making sure we didn’t idealize each other as we had never met. We discussed expectations, life goals, relationship goals, and anything else you can think of in depth. I never even knew I could connect with someone on such an amazing emotional and intellectual level.

    He texted me and called me all the time. Every spare moment he had. He wanted to fly to meet me, but because if child obligations, it worked better for me to make the flight to him. He offered to pay and I refused. The visit was amazing.

    After the visit things were great for a couple weeks, then he suddenly changed. He stopped being open and just shut down on me. He still called and texted, but that level of connection just disappeared. After a week I asked him if he was doing okay? I told him he had changed and asked what was going on with life?

    He said he was struggling with his ex wife and arguing about the kids, work was demanding, and full time college was just exhausting him. He said he was stressed out because if he met me and came to visit and still wanted to be wirh me it just added a lot to the plate. He said he always looks for a reason to not stay in a relationship and he couldn’t find a reason to not stay me and it really scared him.

    He came to visit me in Alaska. All he talked about was how amazing Alaska was. When he left he never said anything about me. I felt like it was just a vacation to him. He hasn’t asked when I want to see him again. He only left two days ago, but I just feel like I’m not important anymore.

    It makes me sad that we are not connecting anymore. I don’t feel like I matter. It is 130pm his time and I haven’t heard from him today. I did text him a couple hours ago just saying hi. Kids are in school today, he isn’t at work....just not responding to me like he used to.

    So am I expecting too much? I just feel like I should break it off because it isn’t what it used to be. But then I’m like...what we had was amazing I don’t want to lose that!

    He also told me he started taking Chantix to stop smoking. I know Chantix can cause or magnify emotional issues and there are a lot of relationships that have ended when one person starts to take it. I don’t even know if that is the issue though. I’m just so confused and my feelings are hurt.

    Am I being a stage four clinger here? Should I just walk away at this point? I feel like I’ve already verbalized my concerns so why bother again?

    #2
    I'm going through something similar. It pretty much sucks. I hope yours gets better.

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