I feel like the butt of a joke

[squiddie]

So lately, it's been incredibly frustrating for me. I've been trying to not complain about it, but at this point I need to let it out or I'm going to explode. Heck, I might explode anyway.

While our families, and our friends who know Penn and me, are being super supportive as we go into our second year of long distance (our 1 year long distance mark was the 21st), newer people in my life are really not treating me well with regards to it.

I've had people tell me to blow him off, that I could cheat on him and no one would know, people not taking me seriously when I say I have a boyfriend, but he lives in Arizona. And I've had people offer to set me up with their friends "in case this whole long distance thing doesn't work out". I mean, seriously offer. With the words "you should definitely think about it" attached at the end.

I don't WANT to think about it. It's hard enough having to be the only intern who doesn't get to see her boyfriend every day/weekend without constant offers to be set up. I like my boyfriend. Yes, I am lonely and going crazy, but I'm not going to break up with my boyfriend because of it.

To boot, I may not actually GET to see him until next summer. I already know he can't make it out here for Thanksgiving, Christmas is looking even more unlikely, and now it doesn't even seem like I'll be able to get out there in the spring.

I get a week off from my internship in March, though the specific week is going to depend on my schedule. I'll find out what week specifically in December, but I already know that at least one week is not going to be possible if I want to see Penn, as he'll be on a site visit for that entire week. (Penn's job has him traveling to visit with clients at least once a month.) And just now, talking to him, it sounds like there's going to be at least one other week in March that he'll be away on a site visit...so what's the point in my even planning to go out there?

I just want to see my freaking boyfriend. I've done this for over a year already. I don't want to have to go another full year without even getting to see him in person. But that's looking like it's going to be the case.

And I'm starting to feel like even the people who know us are starting to not take us seriously because we've spent more of our relationship long distance than we've spent it together. Almost as if, to them, it looks like we're just staying together because it's convenient.

Sorry. I just need to unload on someone, and I know you guys get how I feel.

[Caitlin2009]

tell those people who keep trying to set you up with other people to mind there own damn business!!! nothing irks me more then to have someone tell you those things or be all sarcastic when you say you miss them in the case of my brother who's always saying "oh brother!" anytime i say i miss Denise. like you said i miss her like hell and yeah the distance is frusterating and lonely but im not gonna break up with because of that, one day the distance will end and then you can rub it in there faces later

[Rosebud]

And I'm starting to feel like even the people who know us are starting to not take us seriously because we've spent more of our relationship long distance than we've spent it together. Almost as if, to them, it looks like we're just staying together because it's convenient.

I think if these are the people who really care about you and your happiness, you need to explain to them that there is practicaly nothing convenient about a LDR. You're staying with your boyfriend not because it's easy or just 'there', but because he means a great deal of importance to you, and I think if you talk it out with them, show them how much you strive to make your relationship with him work and all the emotion I can read just from this post, it'll hopefully be a bit more clear to them that it takes alot of work but despite all the hardships you do it anyway because that's how much he means to you and vice versa.

I am terribly sorry people are treating you this way though These people who want you to just blow him off honestly sound to me like they've never had a serious relationship, close distance or not, so I wouldn't take their advice too seriously. *hugs* I really hope you get to see your boyfriend soon and remember that just because these people can't wrap their heads around a serious LDR, doesn't make them right.

[P1nkL3m0n4d3]

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with all of that! It's really not fair that people are saying those things to you... I can't imagine how that must feel...
All I can say is to think positively... YOU know you love him and that you two belong together and that you are willing to deal with the distance in order to stay with him and thats all that matters.
I think you need to do your best to ignore them and when they say things like that just smile and say "Thanks but I already found the One."

As for having to wait so long to see him again... I'm sorry about that too... it must be so hard to not know when you will see each other again... All I can say is try to stay hopeful and happy because you never know what can happen... situations can change suddenly and you might get a chance sooner than you think...
Do your best to try to find a time to see him and look forward to that even if it is a long wait, you know its worth it!
*hugs*

[LadyMarchHare]

If someone dared tell me to cheat or try and set me up while knowing I was taken, I'd ask them exactly what makes them think the relationship I'm in is any less valuable or valid than ones where someone physically sees their SO every day. I'd also tell those people which orifice to cram said opinions, but that's me.

Honestly if these people are doing this, you need to distance yourself from them or drop them like a hot potato altogether because no friendship is worth dealing with someone who belittles you by trying to enable unfaithfulness or demeaning something you take very seriously.

[Silviar]

You gotta love immature people. It seems like no matter what you do, there's always someone who tries to offer an alternative SO, 'freebie sex' if you're taken, or that the sky is going to fall. How dare you be positive and happy about your relationship!

My suggestion is to respond as rudely or politely as you feel, then ignore those people. Unfortunately, there will always be people who feel like it's ok to butt themselves into your business.

[paulawriteslove]

*hugs* take a deep breath! As long as you know your relationship is strong then don't let whatever anyone else is saying get to you.

[Stubborn Hope]

Oh squiddle, my heart goes out to you! I joined this community for just that reason... In moments like these, keep in mind that at least the people who know and love you already are supportive! That is more than I can say... And we've been a together almost two years now.

I would argue that the fact that your relationship is LD proves that you're not in it for the convenience. Be strong, and my advice is to use an informative/educational approach when explaining things to these people instead of an emotional one (frustration, anger, dreamy, etc.).

[Mio]

That is very frustrating, I hope you can find at least a little time when you too can see each other. It is hard to spend so much time apart. And about the people that is bugging you, you should tell them right on their faces, that you appreciate very much their concerns, but that you would appreciate it even more if they respect you and your relationship and stop trying to hook you up. If they don't stop, then try to avoid this people as much as possible, if they are encouraging you to cheat they don't seem like good association to me.