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Need loads of advice on my ldr

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    Need loads of advice on my ldr

    My bf and I met through a dating app and we started talking in mid Feb and officially became bf/gf in May. I am only his second relationship where as I have had a few relationships before him. I feel like until almost the end of June he would talk about anything and everything with me. He would tell me about his day and the things that happened at work or are going to happen. His boss chewed him out at the end of June saying I understand you have a gf but you can't be getting distracted while at work.
    In July I felt like I was the one always sharing and felt out of the loop with him. He once in July told me he was stressed but he never expanded on that at the time because we were in the middle of another conversation, so I let it go. I thought he would say something the following week but he didn't. He then said he told me when he came to visit me the week after. I remembered him telling me but he didn't exactly specify that was what was stressing him out. He then continued to say what is the point in telling me when I wouldn't have been able to do anything about it anyway. I was taken aback by what he said and didn't say anything at that time. I then messaged him later and told him "I am here for you, and you can tell me anything. We are in a relationship and it's a two way street, we should be able to confide in each other what's bothering us and stressing us, etc even if the other person can't do anything about it". I was waiting for a response and he didn't say anything until two days later, when I got "hey dear, how is your day going?". I replied you have no response to what I sent a couple days ago. He then replied I get what you are saying about the two way street.
    I then read another post on here where the couple would have a weekly chat date once a week where they would expand on what they went through during the week. I realized my bf doesn't do that. Or do it anymore? Since he doesn't do that I think what's the point in me sharing about my day and I don't share much like I used to do. When I ask about how his day went I get one/two word answers like good/busy/stressful/etc and after that he doesn't ask about my day or even expand on his. It's extremely rare to see my bf ask about my day and how it went now. Isn't sharing stuff like what went on during the week suppose to bring couples closer? We almost always text each other good morning and good night daily but I feel like that's all it is sometimes when we are not hanging out together in person. Due to our schedules we only see each other once or twice a month for about 8 hours each time. What do I do? Is there way to get him to open up more and share what's going on throughout his week or just share in general? Is there a way to fix this issue or is it a lost cause?
    Last edited by cookiemonster; August 28, 2019, 02:43 PM.

    #2
    It sounds like a communication break down.

    You need to talk to him and tell him how you're feeling. This is the number one rule in LDRs. I wouldn't be able to continue my LDR if the only communication me and my SO had daily was a good morning and a good night. I understand some days this may be all that's possible, but we make sure we make up for it if it occurs.

    Talk to him and tell him how you feel. That's the only way this will get resolved
    Met: November 2011
    Started Dating: 5th August 2019
    Next Meeting: 17th March 2020

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      #3
      Originally posted by mcnab182 View Post
      It sounds like a communication break down.

      You need to talk to him and tell him how you're feeling. This is the number one rule in LDRs. I wouldn't be able to continue my LDR if the only communication me and my SO had daily was a good morning and a good night. I understand some days this may be all that's possible, but we make sure we make up for it if it occurs.

      Talk to him and tell him how you feel. That's the only way this will get resolved
      This, absolutely. Talk to him about how you're feeling, and see if you guys can come up with something that's most suitable for your relationship. He also isn't as experienced in relationships as you, so he may not be too too sure about what flies and what doesn't. Even if you say that he can tell you everything, he may be thinking "what does 'everything' constitute? Is this too much? I don't want to burden her." etc, etc. He might also just be a private person, or someone who just shuts down when they're stressed out. The only way to find out, though, is to talk to him and express these things.

      Good luck!

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