Getting mixed signals is this normal?

[pietje]

Hello,

so i have been in a LDR for quite a while but planning to meet next year, in short im in my 30s shes in her 40s with 2 kids, both of the kids like me so thats not the problem.

it was all great and stuff, but she now has a job and mentioned some days are too stressfull to skype, fine i said ill leave the skype up to her.

but these days, or months, i never get an i miss you or i love you..or before she sleeps... i did the same sort of because i was stressed at my new job so i did neglect it but stayed faitful

now it seems since she has a new job too im getting this treatment aswel, we discussed it on skype but the only she had to say i did neglect her for years..which i really didnt tbh but thats her idea.

we decided to give it more time and continue, meet next year, but these days i barely get a message, and if it is its about work or her kids which is fine but theres no affection towards me anymore.

I am clueless i tried to discuss it multiple times but it wears her out it seems. is this normal on LDR..since its hard to rly tell whats going for me...but honestly should i even continue to bother with this..its not making me exactly happy anymore...we agreed just just try it for another month

it seems like her life went to calm to hectic the last cpl months...

should i really bother with this and continue or just move on, im 36 here its either go for her, or just start dating local and try this again..i honestly dont know what to do here..

i figured since we gave it a month ill be the bf and support her, if it stays the same im gonna quit the relationship, this isnt really any good for me either. I still appreciate some thoughts on this.

[MsGrim]

How long have you been dating? If you have already talked to her about it and her answer was that you did the same, is that really a good enough response? Yea her job may have something to do with it but in all honesty, if you're really invested in a relationship your SO should be someone you confide in with times like that.

I have been promoted to a pretty stressful job and my SO is constantly studying for his med school exams and we have yet to find ourselves in this situation. In my opinion she should be making time for you regardless of the situation if she was that serious about the relationship. Maybe you can try and work it out within the next month but if its still not at your expectations, especially after discussing it with her, then I would move on if I were you.

Don't put yourself in a place where you are unhappy.

[pietje]

We have been well not dating together for years, i made plans to move there eventually, get married get the process all done.

We talked about all this last night and she seemed stressed out even skyping. She lives with her mom currently, so we're working on things like our own place a car, whilst i plan the trips and get us meet more often.

The first year was great but she didnt have a job and thing wherent moving on for us.

It seems like she wants to get her car fixed be at kids bands stuff and handle a job. She has some business with home schooling her one daughter its a process.

But then a couple weeks ago she was off and wanted to work on her car instead didnt get a reply for hours...

Thing is i love her very much and we got very close, but this way i feel like i dont really have a partner anymore.

Its been going on for atleast a couple months now, she wakes up eat take her meds, whatnot go to work... then again she could message me i miss you today..but i dont get anything from her.. i pooured my heart to no avial i only get yeah but you where the same years ago..and i did this for a reason..i clinged too much got dissapointed and stopped clining to her and kinda focused on my own life...i didnt get much back or never did she talk about it either...so its strange to me..like i am the one to blame for all of it.

Yesterday it stressed me out so much but we agreed to try another month...i was heartbroken but today im slowly getting dettached realising im still young i can find someone here..weve been through a lot together and she supported me in the past..

dont get me wrong, she is my everything, i want to give up having my own children, and move to another country...for her..she knows this.

I dont want to give up but maybe what she suggested give it a month ill deal with it be lonely and just support her, but then again if it never changes im done. I love her but im getting strung along it feels like.


thank you for your reply.

[pietje]

Well last night i got her to try to get excited for a trip next year said i planned it all out, went to bed leaving long messages,woke up and got nothing back.

This aint worth it anymore i love her but this actally depresses me and i broke it off for good...sad but thats life

[MsGrim]

Well last night i got her to try to get excited for a trip next year said i planned it all out, went to bed leaving long messages,woke up and got nothing back.

This aint worth it anymore i love her but this actally depresses me and i broke it off for good...sad but thats life

I am SO sorry to hear this! Breaking things off is never really easy but from what you have told me, it didn't seem like she was as invested as you were.. and that sucks. At least you can walk away knowing that you have done everything YOU can to try and make this work out.