Money issue , what should I do?

[My Hearts in Kentucky]

I jut got off the phone with glen my SO and he told me that if I had already bought him a gift for our two year anniversary to take it back. I asked why and he said because he doesn't have the money to get me anything. I told him it was okay and i still want to give him his gifts but i don't want him to be imbaressed if I give him something and him not have me something in return. I'm not worried about a gift. I know he loves me and that's all that matters and we will be able to spend time to celebrate it together a few days before the real date.
What would you do?

[lisaar910]

Maybe you could make him something instead of giving him the gift you bought for him. Even if you buy stuff to use to make him something, I think it would be a little easier on the ego than a purchased gift.

[LadyMarchHare]

If he doesn't want the gift but you still want to give something, what about a card? You could make one or buy one and write a heartfelt message inside and kiss the inside.

[paulawriteslove]

Well what did you get him? If he really doesn't want one then you can always make him something instead.

[Bluestars]

I would probably return it like he asked (or keep it to give him at a later date). Then I would suggest that we make presents for one another instead

[Moon]

You said gifts, right? If any of them are small, but meaningful, maybe give him that and return the rest. Or you could bake him something good, I've found that most guys appreciate that.

[Dauntedpoet]

I've been through this with my SO, I tucked away the one present I had personalized for another time, and returned the other one. He spent the entire month leading up to our anniversary worrying that I would still send him something, I emailed him a poem I'd written and a coupon good for his favorite homemade meal. He was so relieved and told me how worried he'd been, and how awful he would've felt had I sent him something anyways. He told me he loved me more for NOT giving him anything.
I agree with Moon and Bluestars, I'd return it and make him\bake him something. Its the best gift you could give him.

[Karringtyn]

Put the gift aside and save it...send a heartfelt card...

[Frank]

I think that since you went through the effort to pick out and get him the gift, there is no reason you should have to go through the trouble of having to return the gift, and then making or buying something cheaper.
I bet he really wants the gift, and he is just being polite by saying that you should take it back.
Getting him something when you know you will not get much in return will show how much you really care about him. That you don't celebrate him just to get something back. That you are selfless and really want to make him happy.
So what that he can't afford something special. He can go through the trouble to make something or come up with something that is meaningful.
I know that when I don't have money, I have to try hard to come up with something to be just as special as a diamond necklace or a fancy dinner.

[Andy]

I agree with Frank, I think I'd still be inclined to give the gift despite what he's said. If you hadn't already gone to the trouble of buying one, then I think you could leave the gift giving aside.

I hope she doesn't mind me saying this but I went through a similar thing with Tanja. I think it was for Valentine's Day though I'm not sure now... she'd been out of work for a while and said she didn't want to exchange gifts but I'd already got her one and I needed to send it in the mail very soon in order for her to get it... can't even remember what it was now

Maybe earrings?

Anyway, it kept me awake wondering what to do, and in the end I think I sent her a long email explaining that all I wanted was to send her something to show her how much I love her. I knew what her situation was and I didn't care and it turned out that she was doing what Frank said, and was merely being polite and she did want to receive something from me although she'd much rather give something because that's the sort of person she is, hence her initial reaction.

So in the end I sent it and I'm glad I did

[Silviar]

Sometimes when couples are on hard times, they make a promise to not exchange gifts for special occasions. If he feels really strongly about it and won't back down, you guys could do this. Understanding when you can't buy something is a mark of maturity, and I'm sure it was hard for him to say that. Since the gift isn't super important to you, and you seem ok with returning it, then I'd return it.

If, however, you explain you've already purchased it and you have no problems not receiving a gift, and can say it with an honest heart, then tell him. Most guys will be ok with that, if perturbed. It's really up to your couple's chemistry to see if that's an agreeable solution for you.

[squiddie]

Save the gift for Christmas or his birthday, and then make him a card with a letter inside.

[Zephii]

This happened to Obi and I last year. The government cut off my payments and I couldn't buy him anything, didn't have the opportunity to make him anything, couldn't take him out even though we'd made plans. The "rule" for money we'd had was "My country, my money." When I was in Canada on a visit, he paid for everything. When he was in Australia, it was my turn... Well it was my turn, and I'd failed embarrassingly!

So, we made a new agreement. For anniversaries, we'll take turns. Last year, he paid for our outing, dinner, sparkling wine and gave me a beautiful rose-gold locket the cost of which I don't want to consider. I gave him nothing but my appreciation.
This year it's my turn to cover the cost of everything and buy a gift. ^^;

We're weird though!

But if he will honestly feel bad for receiving something it's best to respect that.

[Mio]

You can save it for a future time. And as the others said, a hand made card or gift is a perfect heart warming idea!

[My Hearts in Kentucky]

Thanks evryone