My SO has always been a tall, thin, small-boned build. I have often thought that he may be rather underweight (especially since he is 26 and most men have at least a little bulk on them by now. One of his sisters has a similar build, but even she is a healthy weight/ physique for that build and he is not). On his last visit, though, I noticed that he was even thinner and that it seemed like the musculature on his arms and thighs had wasted a bit. He has terrible eating habits and not only I have noticed them, but his friends and family have, too. If left to his own devices, he will often claim to "forget" breakfast and/ or lunch and "feel too tired" to make much for dinner (and, yes, he has demonstrated that he has cooking skills and, as for money, he may sometimes limit his groceries to save money, but he could still afford to get decent, healthy food...especially since he doles out money for specialty coffee and top shelf drinks). He often fuels himself on coffee all day and then has a gin and tonic in the evening and something very small and not always good like doughnuts, crackers, and almonds. He will eat meals (but fairly small portions) if his parents have him over, if he is around me, or if he goes out to a restaurant with friends (and he rarely declares on Facebook or something that he remembered to get a bagel for lunch or something, as if it is a feat for him. Sometimes he will tuck away a huge breakfast out of nowhere, which astounds me...but that is rare).
I am worried about him and tried to approach what was going on in a positive way (I made a suggestion that we do a fitness challenge and I can work on drinking more water and walking more and he can eat more frequently and more healthy meals. He liked the idea, but has since then failed to bring it up). When I talk directly about being worried about him not eating nutritiously, he kind of gets defensive and makes me out to be a nag...so I am not sure how to talk about anything more in-depth or serious.
I think that eating disorders are often concealed, ignored, or not talked about as much as they should be. For a man, too, it seems like it is less socially "acceptable" to confess to and seek help for an eating disorder. I think that his lack of nutrition and weight loss are past just eating moderately or being forgetful.
How can I help him to eat properly and have a healthy attitude (and even heal, if he does have an eating disorder) from a distance?
I am worried about him and tried to approach what was going on in a positive way (I made a suggestion that we do a fitness challenge and I can work on drinking more water and walking more and he can eat more frequently and more healthy meals. He liked the idea, but has since then failed to bring it up). When I talk directly about being worried about him not eating nutritiously, he kind of gets defensive and makes me out to be a nag...so I am not sure how to talk about anything more in-depth or serious.
I think that eating disorders are often concealed, ignored, or not talked about as much as they should be. For a man, too, it seems like it is less socially "acceptable" to confess to and seek help for an eating disorder. I think that his lack of nutrition and weight loss are past just eating moderately or being forgetful.
How can I help him to eat properly and have a healthy attitude (and even heal, if he does have an eating disorder) from a distance?
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