Divergent Careers

[Hope573]

Hi everyone. I believe I am in a fairly unique situation so here it goes.
My wife and i started our relationship about 6 1/2 years ago and got married 18 months ago. I am an English engineer on private superyachts and my wife is an American deckhand who's goal is to be a captain one day. We have no fixed home due to the nature of our careers. We have have spent the majority of the last 4 1/2 years working together on the same boat and make a great team.
Everything was fantastic until 6 weeks after the wedding which was 1 1/2 years ago. We left our jobs to take extended time off over the wedding period as that was the only way to get the time that we needed.

We had just started looking for our next job on a yacht together when we got the call that my mother had a serious stroke. I spent 6 months in England visiting my mother everyday in hospital then after that setting up a new home where she could be looked after. My wife took temp jobs and visited when she could. Obviously the finantial and time cost as well as the distance between us over this period put strain on our relationship.
I then got a rotational job that allowed me to keep working and help care for my mother. We then got lucky and my wife got a job onboard the same yacht although her position was full time and not rotational. The problem came as i felt that we had no private time together and no chance to grow as a couple whilst on the yacht (tiny cabin and no opertunity to share a bed) and didnt see each other at all otherwise. This has recently led me spiral into sever depression and quit my job as i no longer was able to face that life any more.

I am not designed for a long distance relationship (hardcore romantic) and am trying to figure out how our marriage can procceed. My wifes career progression will not allow her to take more than 2 weeks every 3-4+ months.

Obviously there is a lot more to it than what i have written above but it does give an overview of the situation.

Thanks everyone

[MsGrim]

Hello and welcome!

I don't think you have to be designed for a LDR (I don't think anyone is to be honest) to be in one and you can have incredibly romantic moments whilst in a LDR- they are just a little different from the standard romance aspect.

You have been together long enough to really know each other and I am sure you can use that to your advantage during this time apart from each other. What are some things that the two of you like to do together? What does she like specifically? It is definitely possible to keep the relationship going- it will be tough but as long as the two of you keep that line of communication open and stay on the same page, your marriage will be just fine.

[Atlantic Crossroads]

If if helps at all, me and my fiance are both romantics too, and even though we're pretty good at communication and honesty, we are finding it really tough.
Lately he is in severe depression and is isolating as we're coming to the end of a 10 month gap between visits.
For him, this is his first LDR. For me it is my 2nd.

If you weren't a strong couple, you wouldn't have made it this far already. Give yourselves credit for making it work, even if it's far from ideal. Even people who are used to being LD still find it bloody hard work. But you keep going because you know that someday it will end, and you'll be together again. When you love someone, you'd weather any storm with them. You'll be ok. You got this.