Am I wrong?

[Jo19]

Soooooooo I'm new to this but after looking for articles or something to make me feel better ran into this,


I have been in a LdR for 3 years but I just have been getting so irritated lately because I've asked for communication other than just a bunch of I love you and I miss you messages ...

Like no lie


It's always a bunch of messages saying I love you I love you I love you I miss you I need you


And I have communicated clearly to him that I need more than just I miss you texts to feel closer and a deeper connection but it just doesn't change and I dont know what to do .. or if I'm wrong for getting irritated all the time


I just feel so anxious within because I hate not being able to enjoy conversations with him other than I miss yours and I love yous

Advice please?

[onlyemily]

Hello! I do not think you are wrong for being irritated. You communicated how you feel and his ignoring it. If it is not a deal breaker for you, you can have him elaborate. Like if he texts you i miss you/i love you. Respond with the "why do you miss me, or what do you miss about me/what do you miss doing with me..you can even say tell me three things you love about me quick" and things like that to change the conversation. Maybe even start texting him throughout the day things that you would want to hear..its encouragement but if he gets examples from you, how you want, it might help him a little bit.

My SO and I had issues with him steering the conversations more than I did. He's a talker, I am not, at all. He felt that he was giving more than I was and he was right, so I looked up a thousand questions on google-there is seriously so many- so sometimes when he would want me to talk I would use one of the questions to kind of get the conversation going. It really helps me when I don't have too much to say or I just want to have a fun conversation...they have some pretty fun questions out there.

I hope this helps! xx

[autumn1790]

I used to struggle with this as well. I still really appreciate when he puts the effort into a sweet message. However, I've come to realize that his love language is not words of affirmation, but more like acts of service and spending time together. I can feel his love when he never fails to ask how my back is after a long day at work. Have you guys taken the love languages quiz? Do you know what love language he speaks and what love language he hears?