Feeling pretty hopeless

[vivid_idea]

Ok. So I have been messing up pretty badly with my SO for a while now. I made him very frustrated and angry in the end, because I was bringing drama and negativity between us. We were close and would usually talk daily. He now has been ignoring my messages for a week. I am feeling pretty devastated about it tbh. I keep sending long messages even tho I know that I shouldn’t. It shows me that he is online but he won’t even read my messages for a while sometimes. He hasn’t blocked me. He hasn’t broken up with me. He just won’t say anything to me at all.

Has anybody else experienced this? I don’t know what to do. I feel he is the love of my life and I don’t want to lose him. Even tho I know I messed up, more than once

[Junglebook]

Give him some time and space!
I think he will answer you after awhile but when he is ready for it.
My bf is also the kind of guy who starts to ignore when he is angry.
I am always the person who wants to sort it out directly but he needs time to calm down and start thinking straight again.
Being ignored is painful, I know. But all you can do is wait and give him some time!
Good luck and I hope you guys will find a way to work it out!

[Redheart14]

I agree, you need to keep your emotions in check and give him space. If you don’t you could cause irreparable damage to your relationship.

[kate04]

How are you?
Has he replied? I agree with the other posters, tempting as it may be to rant at him (not saying you have, but it's the kind of thing I'd do and have done), he needs to miss you, so hide your phone and have plenty of distractions for when you want to text.

Take care x

[vivid_idea]

Hi everyone, thanks for the encouragement. I appreciate it

Kate, yah he did reply. He just said he had a good week and he felt better without the drama. He said we could talk some time this week.

Since then he is still ignoring me, and not reading my messages. Honestly I feel so hurt I just feel like throwing in the towel.

[Junglebook]

Don’t give up! Wait until the talk later this week and see if you can work things out!
As I said; being ignored is painful but you have to go through this and I am sure that you can hang in there!
Let him be the person to start talking to you. None of us knows the outcome of the conversation but if you give up now you for sure lose what you want and love so dearly. Is that worth it?
Stay strong!

[kate04]

Make sure my darling that when you do talk to him you make sure he knows how much this is hurting you. As much as he dislikes the drama, you dislike being ignored!
Your feelings count too!
Stay strong x

[vivid_idea]

Thanks everyone

Thanks Kate 💪

The problem with being ignored is that I don’t really see any way to justify it. It’s absolutely fair (and sometimes necessary!) to need space or time out in a relationship, but the right thing to do is to tell your partner. A simple msg, “I can’t talk now and need some time. Let’s talk next week”. I mean, that can alleviate so much angst and worry.

I think when you ignore someone without saying anything at all, it is done with one purpose only: to punish and inflict pain on the other.

I’ve been thinking like this and it doesn’t sit quite right with me. I would always tell someone I care for what is happening if they are deeply worried.

What do you think? Have you ever ignored someone on purpose without any explanation or had it done to you?

I hope when we talk he will explain it and I will feel better about it. At the moment I feel like some trust has been damaged. And that really really sucks.

[kate04]

I can honestly say I’m not an ignorer, I’m a talker. I have said, sorry I won’t be able to talk today because xyz is happening and I’ve also said I can’t talk right now because I’m too angry / upset / whatever. I would never just ignore. I think it’s wrong and it’s done with intent too.
I have been ghosted once and it is confusing and mentally it’s a f@£k up. It’s cruel.
I also had a boyfriend that used to disappear for days, no explanation. It sent me crazy. I think he enjoyed that tbh 😢
I said to myself, never again would I tolerate that. I agree, its necessary to have space but tell the other person! Also with the time difference, isn’t that enough bloody space.
I have to say, you’re being remarkably dignified... I think I’d have gone nuts by now, destroying the relationship or not, but I’d know where I stood.
You are important, your feelings are important and someone that loves you (whether they’ve said it or not) should know that x

[Atlantic Crossroads]

You're not alone in this.

Me and my SO are going through some stuff right now. He's very busy, and his mind's all over the place. We've talked about it a few times, but there's been no solution presented by him to date. I've cancelled my visit too, as a family member is now in a hospice.

It hurts like hell, but I've told him I'm not going anywhere. So, I have no option but to endure it.

[vivid_idea]

Hi everyone, we are talking again. He was surprised I was so worried and he wanted to remind me that he has said before that he would never leave for good without saying something first. He genuinely seemed surprised that I would get so concerned. He said that I should trust him.

I guess I will have to get used to and accept that he will need to distance himself when things get tough :/

[Junglebook]

I am happy that things are fine between you two!
Hopefully he’ll understand that he can get some space when he needs it but that ignoring is not an option!
When time goes by it get’s a bit easier to give each other space, at least for me it feels like this!
Enjoy your talkings again

[Littleapple]

Sorry to hear hopefully you do manage to have a talk with him.he needs to understand aswell ignoring you is hurting you
Like other people have said a simple message saying I need a few days quiet time etc..
I had the same with my bf.i didn't know at the time how bad his depression was.i knew he suffered but not as bad as I thought.he would go quiet I'd think he's got bored he would never reply and it would drive me insane and yes it hurts like hell. But over time he slowly manage to open up tell me and now says I need a bit quiet time and he knows I'm there waiting.id still.send a morning and night message just so he knew I was still there.
Everyone is different but communication is a must