Anxious

i met my boyfriend 4 years ago, it was an instant connection. He lives in Germany and I in the US.
We decided that once he went back home that would be no point in talking so that would be a 1 time only”fun” I may say. We ended up spending the entire week he was here together. And once he went home he kept on texting and calling. And in the beginning we tried to stay away we knew it wouldn’t work. But after a while we just got closer and I can’t deny I love him. But even though we don’t talk all the time we’re just there for each other. We make plans wonder how we will make things work. But still haven’t seen each other in 4 years so I got annoyed and and told him we need to figure us out, so I can decide weather to wait for him or live my life. He always says he is too busy and it’s hard I I kept waiting. So this week I told him I am done and he can either have me over o come to see me. Great right! Not sure! He is coming to see me but he is bringing his mom with him?? Any suggestions? Don’t know what to think of the situation.

[MsGrim]

Hmm, interesting... Well I know 4 years is a long time to go without seeing someone so I know you will be expecting to spend some quality time together and with his mom there, may seem a bit strange or awkward. Do you two have future plans of ever closing the distance? If not then maybe this is his way of hinting to you that he is ready to make that step? Meeting the parents is a huge deal for some people.

Have you ever talked to his mom or know anything about her? Are they close? He may be wanting her opinion on you before he makes solid plans.

[Steff13]

We talk about it. We do want a family and we doe joy making those plans. Sometimes he is very caring and wants to be connected, others he seems distant. And he been a pilot doesn’t help a lot.
I haven’t talked with his mom but we do talk about her and his grandma he loves them very much. I asked if she knew about me and he say yes! But this has stressed me. And like you said I thought we would have a chance to sit down and talk about us but with her around I don’t know how it will turn out. I just need closure and now I am going nuts. I need some sane advice.

[MsGrim]

There is still a chance for you to have a sit down, deep, conversation with him. Maybe you two can plan a night out and leave mom at home; go somewhere quiet and talk there. If hes bringing his mom then I don't think he is wanting to end things and is making the effort to make it work with you. Maybe he thinks his mom will bring a new perspective to the relationship for him and really solidify things for him? I know I rely on my mom and her opinions in many ways and having her thoughts really helps me out a lot.

If anything, be excited to meet some of his family, I consider it a huge step in a relationship.

[Steff13]

You’re so right Thankyou ��
I just started thinking about all the times I told him we should meet and now it seems things are about to be resolved, I freaked out thinking that he wasn’t coming to see me. Instead he was just traveling with his mom. Honestly now that you made me think about it. I don’t even know what I was thinking. Thankyou so much for been there. If you ever need a friendly ear I will be here. Thankyou. I do hope things work for the best. I really love him!