problem need advise :(:(

[DinaAndMehmet]

hey everyone,

I have been lately feeling really depressed and unhappy. I have been stressed about school and other things. I have told my SO he really needs to do more in this relationship but he doesnt seem to get it. We have a set time to talk he always seems to come on late always doesnt look like he wants to talk. I get really upset like he is yawning constantly in my face and he looks so bored. i asked him a number of times please send me random texts messages or emails (like i do) throughout the day just u know to cheer me up or u know to know that ur thinking about me. i really was trying to hint the fact that im getting really uphappy with him. He is a pretty simple guy like i know he loves me truly but i dont think he understands how much i need him nowadays. we got into another fight about it and like i told him..im just really unhappy with this all u need to show me more. he said that we are saying the same thing but really i never think we are. i always enjoy seeing him and talkin to him because we are so far away. am i putting too much pressure? last night he spent almost 5 hours plays age of empires with his friends and when he came on to talk to me he was so out of it...?
i think i should back away and leave him be for the time being....i want more of this relationship what should i do? please i feel so lost in this sea of emotions and crap
thank you all for reading this

[LadyMarchHare]

It sounds like you need to be more direct. Men most often don't pick up on hints we leave, no matter how blatant. At the same time if he's spending x amount of time with you and then turns around for a night or two to do what he wants, he does have the right.

But what it kinda sounds like is you're asking him to do things he may not be comfortable with as some people are not good with expressing feelings or express them other ways. Maybe try sitting down with him and explaining that you need some form of affection/comfort from him and what he'd be willing to do whether it be a phone call, letter, etc. Maybe ask him too why he doesn't seem as interested in being around you, if he feels conversation's gotten stale or whatnot, and work that out. Don't just sit back and be unhappy, hoping he'll read your mind. It won't happen.

[annamorgan]

Explain to him that since you have a distance from each other, you need things to comfort you from him because you don't have the comfort of always physically being with him. He needs to realize that you're really stressed out and a little sweetness from him on a daily basis would be greatly appreciated.

[Mio]

You should talk to him straigh up about this matter. Tell him how you feel, and how it affects you. I hope he responds well to the conversation.

[paulawriteslove]

My boyfriend plays Age of Empires every Friday night with his friends. So I know it feels when he's busy playing a game and you just want to talk. I've been in a situation like this with my boyfriend before. I've learned to be direct with him. No offense to any guys on the forum, but you have to be direct to get through to them. Just hinting at something isn't going to cut it. Just tell him, 'I've been really stressed with school and I would appreciate if you would text me something cute throughout the day.' I hope this helps!

[lisaar910]

Maybe you should try to approach this differently. You could suggest doing something when you get to talk to him like playing a game together since he likes games. Then you'd still get to talk to him, and he'd probably be less "bored" looking. My boyfriend and I sometimes go through periods where I feel like we just sit there and stare at each other on Skype and say nothing, and doing something together helps a lot. He might feel like you're in a rut together, and that happens in relationships. I don't think talking about it over and over is going to help that though. I think showing him you're trying to do something to fix your problem by doing something that he's interested in will really help change things up in a good way for both of you.

[LadyMarchHare]

Maybe the thought of losing you is what he needs for him to get his act together. Maybe don't talk for a couple of days and make him miss you.

That's sort of extreme for the situation, don't you think? I mean if it was intentional abuse/ignoring her then maybe, but it really doesn't seem to be that way. And chances are if he's not picking up hints, he won't pick up that one or he'll get angry, which would be the opposite reaction desired.

[Čternity]

I think having a few days of not contacting him is a great idea but not so he can miss you. I know you miss him but relying on him to make you feel better could be a big burden for him and you. I would try to work out ways to address the issues with school and other stress in your life first. Try to find ways to be happier, eg address stress and do things that make you happy, without relying on him to do these things.

If he knows you are always unhappy maybe he is finding that hard to deal with and why he is so reluctant to get on cam and seems bored. You both need to be able to be happy alone to then be together and get more out of the relationship.

[Caitlin2009]

dont just hint around, outright say you want more attention from him!!! express how you really feel, hinting around is not gonna help any, sometimes you just need a good old rant to the one you love to make you feel better!