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**kate04** · January 20, 2020, 07:09 AM

hello again!
I'm so glad things are back on track with you both again. I've often wondered how things are going with you.

The holiday season was tricky for us. He was with his family, I was with mine. It was difficult to get time to talk and because we both have kids, our ex's were involved, plus all the family / sentimental sh*! and 3000+miles between us, things got a little fraught at times - I take the blame... I imagine scenarios etc and by the time it's his morning, they have become fact in my mind. I'm aware I'm doing it and usually I can curb it, but Christmas and New Year I find hard at the best of times.

We are well on track now though and we are both really happy and countdown to meeting!

When do you think you'll be seeing each other?

**vivid_idea** · January 20, 2020, 03:46 PM

Oh goodness yes! The holiday season can be so emotionally taxing. It can take a little while before life can feel back to normal. I totally understand how you feel. Although I don�t have the added pressure of dealing with an SO with kids and an ex. I am the one with all the baggage lol.

Countdown to meeting?? How exciting! Have you a fixed date??

Yes we are talking about him flying over here again. But this time he will fly to where I live and most likely meet my kids. As the hours pass by I am feeling more anxious about it though. It will be a lot of reality! I am wondering if it is even best if he meets them yet? I realise we don�t get a lot of opportunity but do you think it is the right thing? Maybe I just organise it so that, between me and my ex, they won�t have to cross paths with him. I really don�t know how to go about this! Ordinarily you would gradually build things up irl. But we can�t exactly do that, now can we?? 😆

**LeoJ** · January 20, 2020, 06:31 PM

Not that you care to hear about my time during the holidays but I figured I'd chime in lol.

My love was here during Thanksgiving(which I do not celebrate) for 3 weeks and we were having a good time until I said something he didn't like and he gave me the silent treatment instead of telling me. He imediately said he was booking his ticket to go back to Wales that day and I left the hotel to go back home. I was so hurt and I was upset that I couldn't resolve it.

So my daughter and I went out of town for a day and I started texting him pictures of what we did(we went to an aquarium that he wanted to go to) and was telling hima about it. He started talking and told me he was going to leave on the following day but hasn't been getting around town well. I asked him if he wanted me to come to get him some food and he said yes.

right then and there we made up in the parking lot. He apologised and said he was wrong to get so angry and thought I should have known why he was angry. He said he missed me so much and was dying to be with me as I was for him. So whoosh! Things worked ot after that. He changed everything back and he stayed and we had a great time after that. I have to tell you it hurt physically to be rejected like that and to not be near him when he was three blocks away.

He is trying to come back in March for a couple of weeks but I am going to be working. He wants to get a import business going so he can travel back and forth without spending so much money. He is really too old to do this but I have to let him do what makes him happy. He told me his breathing has not been so great lately so I told him he needs to slow down a bit. He won't :/

Anyway, this has been too long. Hope you are all happy xxx

**Raventrax** · January 20, 2020, 10:33 PM

Holidays can be so hard with LDRs! Oh man, I've gone the whole route of looking forward to them and absolutely dreading them at the same time. I've been in this LDR for just over a year now, but this isn't my first one. My previous LDR lasted for years and years, and things just never worked out. Holidays were the roughest. They have been a lot easier with this one. I really think it has a lot to do with how much we communicate, especially on the holidays. Sharing holiday plans, showing off decorations, watching movies together (via discord, on voice chat where we can sync/comment/laugh over things in the movie), sharing music, etc. It made a huge difference. I kept him on voice or video chat several times around Christmas while I was decorating and baking, he got to laugh at me singing carols and dancing around like an idiot! It's the small things that made it so much easier. Definitely looking forward to Valentine's coming up. I know we're going to have movie dates, and music dates via video again this year and it's so fun to anticipate.

**kate04** · January 21, 2020, 02:59 AM

Originally posted by vivid_idea View Post

Oh goodness yes! The holiday season can be so emotionally taxing. It can take a little while before life can feel back to normal. I totally understand how you feel. Although I don’t have the added pressure of dealing with an SO with kids and an ex. I am the one with all the baggage lol.

Countdown to meeting?? How exciting! Have you a fixed date??

Yes we are talking about him flying over here again. But this time he will fly to where I live and most likely meet my kids. As the hours pass by I am feeling more anxious about it though. It will be a lot of reality! I am wondering if it is even best if he meets them yet? I realise we don’t get a lot of opportunity but do you think it is the right thing? Maybe I just organise it so that, between me and my ex, they won’t have to cross paths with him. I really don’t know how to go about this! Ordinarily you would gradually build things up irl. But we can’t exactly do that, now can we?? ��

Hmm the kids thing...personally with my kids (who can be very errr 'real' !!!) I would wait. I really want to get to know him properly and spend time just with him - our relationship feels too fragile or too soon for kids, but everyone's different. Why don't you not plan it then see how it goes (though I guess you need to prep your kids) Tricky. Or can they stay with their dad and just do a dinner here and an outing there... so it's not full on?

We plan to meet latest in May (it depends on how well his sports team progress in the league!)

**vivid_idea** · January 21, 2020, 03:40 AM

Originally posted by LeoJ View Post

Not that you care to hear about my time during the holidays but I figured I'd chime in lol.

My love was here during Thanksgiving(which I do not celebrate) for 3 weeks and we were having a good time until I said something he didn't like and he gave me the silent treatment instead of telling me. He imediately said he was booking his ticket to go back to Wales that day and I left the hotel to go back home. I was so hurt and I was upset that I couldn't resolve it.

So my daughter and I went out of town for a day and I started texting him pictures of what we did(we went to an aquarium that he wanted to go to) and was telling hima about it. He started talking and told me he was going to leave on the following day but hasn't been getting around town well. I asked him if he wanted me to come to get him some food and he said yes.

right then and there we made up in the parking lot. He apologised and said he was wrong to get so angry and thought I should have known why he was angry. He said he missed me so much and was dying to be with me as I was for him. So whoosh! Things worked ot after that. He changed everything back and he stayed and we had a great time after that. I have to tell you it hurt physically to be rejected like that and to not be near him when he was three blocks away.

He is trying to come back in March for a couple of weeks but I am going to be working. He wants to get a import business going so he can travel back and forth without spending so much money. He is really too old to do this but I have to let him do what makes him happy. He told me his breathing has not been so great lately so I told him he needs to slow down a bit. He won't :/

Anyway, this has been too long. Hope you are all happy xxx

Hi!

My SO can give me the silent treatment sometimes too and I hate it! Although it�s not happened when we have been in person. That must have been really hard for you, especially having your daughter around. I�m glad to hear that you managed to sort things out though!

**vivid_idea** · January 21, 2020, 03:43 AM

Originally posted by Raventrax View Post

Holidays can be so hard with LDRs! Oh man, I've gone the whole route of looking forward to them and absolutely dreading them at the same time. I've been in this LDR for just over a year now, but this isn't my first one. My previous LDR lasted for years and years, and things just never worked out. Holidays were the roughest. They have been a lot easier with this one. I really think it has a lot to do with how much we communicate, especially on the holidays. Sharing holiday plans, showing off decorations, watching movies together (via discord, on voice chat where we can sync/comment/laugh over things in the movie), sharing music, etc. It made a huge difference. I kept him on voice or video chat several times around Christmas while I was decorating and baking, he got to laugh at me singing carols and dancing around like an idiot! It's the small things that made it so much easier. Definitely looking forward to Valentine's coming up. I know we're going to have movie dates, and music dates via video again this year and it's so fun to anticipate.

Hi welcome to the forum, I noticed you are new. That�s a nice story. You sound like you are very natural and open with each other. Do you both have a plan to meet each other yet?

**vivid_idea** · January 21, 2020, 03:45 AM

Originally posted by kate04 View Post

Hmm the kids thing...personally with my kids (who can be very errr 'real' !!!) I would wait. I really want to get to know him properly and spend time just with him - our relationship feels too fragile or too soon for kids, but everyone's different. Why don't you not plan it then see how it goes (though I guess you need to prep your kids) Tricky. Or can they stay with their dad and just do a dinner here and an outing there... so it's not full on?

We plan to meet latest in May (it depends on how well his sports team progress in the league!)

Ahhh thanks Kate! Yes I agree with you. Maybe I can still keep things quite separate. Perhaps I can give the kids the choice whether they would like to meet him or not. I know that as soon as I tell them that he plans to come here, I will get a very icy reception ugh.

Wouldn�t it be fun if we both are looking forward to seeing our SOs around the same time?! Hehe

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