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Unwillingly ended a LDR

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    Unwillingly ended a LDR

    I met him during a 1 mth exchange in the states. He was from Germany and I was studying in Ireland. We clicked so well, was so attracted to each other and it felt like i found the love of my life. After we left the states, we decided to try a LDR. We would take turns flying down to each other over the weekends. It was tiring but we were so happy when we were together. During times we wont meet, we would message or video call each other.

    1 year and 4 months passed like that. We had so much plans, trying to work our future out together. But it couldnt work out. I was graduating in a few months and wherever i go next, it would make the distance further between us. And even if we made it through this rough patch, i was eventually going back home to Singapore and he had no intentions of leaving Germany.

    I read many forums and many seems to say that breaking up over a LDR is an excuse, that if you love someone you wont give up and youll make it all work. But it isnt the case for me. I love him, i really do. But i also love my family. When i was in Ireland, i was so lonely. I had no family or true friends there. I might be able to work there for anothet 1 or 2 years, but i cannot live there permanently. I wasnt happy there.

    So yesterday we broke up. We had a long talk over the phone, and came to a conclusion that it was the right decision. It was a painful decision, but it was the right decision. We could have dragged it out for another year or two but we wouldnt have been happy because we knew the inevitable was coming.

    I am currently in such heartache, and in such loss. I dont know how one can just transition from lover to friend. I dont know if i could talk to him like i did before, what are the new boundaries.

    If anyone has any advice, i really look forward to them.

    #2
    Hi there, I don’t have any words of wisdom but I just wanted to say that we all know how hard long distance is, so you are not alone. You were very brave to face up to the reality of your situation. I’m not sure how to be friends with your ex who is long distance. My SO is also German and I have sometimes thought if we were to break up for good then I would have to cut ties completely, given the nature of the relationship. Are you still certain that you think it is best for it to be over?

    Feel free to PM me if you would like to talk. Hang in there
    "The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again".
    -Charles Dickens

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