I'm becoming impatient with planning a visit

[MsGrim]

About a week ago my SO and I talked about meeting sooner than we thought we were able to. Originally we were looking at a 5 month gap but since hes gotten his set schedule, there's a chance to meet mid March, which will only be a 3 month gap. Given our circumstances, even though the opportunity to meet sooner has opened up, it'll still be difficult to make it happen. When we talk about the "where's and when's" it tends to stress him out so we don't actually set the plans in motion. This is really starting to weigh on me because I am just ready to book the damn hotel and have something to look forward to.

I was totally okay with waiting for 5 months before that conversation took place, but now that the chance to meet sooner has opened up and the plans are NOT being made, I get a little upset when I think about it. I don't want to pressure him into getting everything set in stone because he's already got so much going on with school and I just don't want to add more to his plate. I am waiting on him to take the initiative because it really just depends on his schedule, but I am growing impatient. Lol, if it were up to me, the hotel would be booked and we'd be playing the waiting game.

How can I get this visit planned without stressing him out? I can't do it without him helping me. I honestly feel like I shouldn't mention this to him anymore. If he wants to meet in March, he will let me know, if he wants to wait out the 5 months then so be it.

[vivid_idea]

Hi there, not sure if I can suggest any helpful advice, but I know how annoying it can be when you get your hopes up for something. Sometimes it’s just easier to accept things as they are without that glimmer of hope that gets you excited.

What do you need from him in order to make it happen? It does sound like he is busy/stressed and it can be hard to focus elsewhere when it’s like that. Have you tried just asking a very open ended question, “is there anything I can do to help”? Good luck! It will be awesome if you can see each other sooner!

[MsGrim]

Thank you, I've just distracted myself and got my mindset back into the "waiting until May" aspect, it's been better. If we can meet sooner, then that's great but if not, that's okay too. I know he wants to meet soon but I am not going to pressure him into anything; he will let me know when he is ready.

I always ask if there is anything I can do to help him, or help alleviate stress.. But he always answer with "just keep loving me" lol, as if that'll ever change.

[Atlantic Crossroads]

I could easily have written this post myself! I was in a similar boat. I kept asking him when I could come, and told him how depressed it made me, that we both needed a visit, that the relationship couldn't progress without time together etc etc. I told him that patience wasn't my strong suit, and I even suggested breaking up. Still nothing!
So I ran out of ideas and sanity after weeks of us arguing about it, and just gave him an ultimatum. I said I was coming out there, and he could see me or not. If he chose not, then I'd walk. Finally, I got somewhere!
Now I am looking for tickets for May, and he said he is happy.

I wouldn't recommend my course of action though, but at least it had the desired effect in our case.

[MsGrim]

I am glad that worked for you and you are looking into tickets! How exciting!! I have to take more of a calmer approach for my SO lol. I know he wouldn't react well if I gave him that ultimatum He keeps saying "I know the waiting has been rough, but it will be worth it once we do get to see each other again" I can at least take comfort in the fact that I know for sure he's wanting to meet soon. I JUST MISS HIM SO BAD!! Lol, sometimes I pout like a child and I have to remind myself that these are the sacrifices that I knew I'd have to make in order to continue this relationship... This is what I signed up for, anyways. I would really like to have a countdown, though, something to look forward to.. Ya know?

[Atlantic Crossroads]

I honestly believe that a countdown is what keeps me sane.

I think that the endless uncertainty just makes me so insecure, and that's when things get out of hand.

[MsGrim]

I'm kind of feeling it right now lol! Especially when he tells me he misses me... I'm like "Yep! Lets plan then" We used to always have the next visit date setup but now that we are a little further apart and he is on a more demanding schedule, it makes things a little more tough.