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I need advice on some recent issues with family and bf

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    I need advice on some recent issues with family and bf

    I never ever thought that I would have major family issues, or that I would be talking about them on the internet. Like why have I been so naive? I think its because my family has always been so caring and supportive and we've never reached a point of having major issues with one another. I hope someone reads this because I really need advice. In the last year, I have had some serious heartache, my grandma died, my grandpa died, and then my childhood doggie, Teddy had to be put down It has been really hard for my mom and dad because it was my mom's dad and my dad's mom who passed. Both of them took it really hard and losing Teddy had to be one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through with a beloved pet. I missed him when I woke up and then I would think of my grandma and then my mom would be crying over my grandpa and that vicious cycle of sadness didn't stop for months. Finally, in the new year, 2019, I was finally starting to feel better. I was working out again, I was crying less everyday, I was getting closer to God, and the days started getting easier. Then, to help get my mind off of everything going wrong in my life, I started to play Fortnite. At first I didn't wanna play a game that everyone else was playing, but playing with other people helped me laugh again and helped my sister and I get closer. Then, I met the potential love of my life, Brandon. We started to play together and bonded and I knew that I had to meet him to see if we could maybe be together and it was the most magical first date. Unfortunately, he lived a state over, about 3 hours away, and I had never been in a long distance relationship before. I knew that God brought us together though, I felt that in my heart that he could be the one. So, we decided to see eachother as often as we could, despite being called crazy and stupid and naive, we pursued a relationship. We talked all the time and played Fortnite as much as we could. Soon, when he came again, he asked me to be his gf and I of course said yes. We have been together for a year and a month now and I adore him for all that he is Which brings me to my need for advice. Through all of these ups and downs, I have managed to be happy, really happy. Unfortunately for my family, it wasn't always spent with them. I spend much of my time now focused on God, my school work, Brandon, and friends. He is my first boyfriend and he makes me incredibly happy and I love spending time with him. We talk for hours on FaceTime, watch shows and movies, play Fortnite, take quizzes, send funny pics, you name it, we try it. Right now, I had to cancel our anniversary plans because of the corona virus and it just quite simply, sucks. Spending all this time together has made us really close and my parents and sister have not always been happy about that. My sister puts our relationship down, fights with me more, gets mad at the simplest things I say, and makes me feel bad if I don't wanna spend time with her. She is almost 18 this month and it hurts that we aren't as close as we have always been. I'm trying to grow up, she's trying to grow up, and my parents are heartbroken over that. My mom has other issues besides us two, but this year, she has done nothing but be sad about my relationship and how I'm growing up. Both my parents said they weren't expecting it. Like how is that possible? Does anybody else have parents like that? Even when I spend time with my family they never are satisfied anymore. They think I am unhealthily obsessed with my bf and have asked me to see a therapist. It is really saddening to hear from my sister and mom when they both have been dealing with issues that a therapist could help with, but my mom isn't seeking help. It just feels that I make excuses for everyone and that my parents will never be happy with my relationship or how I wanna live my life. I know its normal to pick on a daughter's bf, but is it healthy to do it constantly without ceasing? Now its creating problems with my bf and he doesn't even want to come to my house anymore because of all the negativity. I just wanna grow and learn about the world and have a healthy relationship with both Brandon and my family. And I miss Brandon like crazy now. What should I do? Thank you to anyone who reads this and who can offer me some advice

    #2
    I'm sorry you're having a hard time..
    Parents picking on their daughter's partner isn't uncommon, but it's not for every family either.. so you absolutely don't have to keep feeling like that.

    If your family do want you to be happy, they should be more open and accepting. If you feel like their actions are more from jealousy than wanting you to be happy, you probably need to make some actions to be with him. It takes so much courage but it will be worth it.

    Let your family know that you're having a hard time as much as they are, and that being with you makes you happy which could change the whole mood of the family.
    Stay strong, know that I'm on your side.

    Good luck!

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