Rekindling/Second chance

[thrwyhk]

Has anyone here experienced, or know of, a couple that broke up because of circumstance and then reunited many years later?

My situation: study abroad, fell in love, attempted long distance in different countries/continents, split because of difficulty in navigating different life stages (not personality conflicts), no contact for YEARS, both fell in/out of love with other people, now both single, both now back in home countries but on different continents still - but life stages are probably aligned now.

I know conventional wisdom goes against this, but I am tempted to put it all out there in a letter because I have not forgotten him or the feelings in all this time, and I'm sick of waiting or fearing rejection. There has been a very long period of no contact that I don't believe social media/casual email will get a response. Has anyone else just worn their heart on their sleeve this way?

[Atlantic Crossroads]

I've never done this myself, but what do you have to lose by getting in touch?
I say go for it, life is short.

[OhioJim]

....I know conventional wisdom goes against this, but I am tempted to put it all out there in a letter because I have not forgotten him or the feelings in all this time, and I'm sick of waiting or fearing rejection. ....

Go for it!

Don't you think it would be better to know than to worry about it? And how do you know that he doesn't feel the same way?

Not necessarily LDR, but I have heard of similar situations where a couple got back together after years apart.

[ldrbreakup]

It doesn't hurt to try at all! I've just broken up recently due to distance and I wish one day I were in your shoes to be able to even attempt to come in contact again when both of us are single and have our lives sorted out. Worst case scenario, it's a rejection, but so what? He's probably changed after all these years, there's a reason why he didn't want to start a relationship again. If that's the case, no reason to hold onto feelings for someone that has evolved into somebody else.

And you'll never know unless you write that letter. Don't let it haunt you and regret it in the future for not writing that letter because you'll just ask a lot of 'what-ifs'.

[thrwyhk]

Thankyou guys. I’ve sat on my hands because I feel exposed and embarrassed that I could still hold out any hope after all this time.

Does anyone want to let me know what they would like to hear from a long lost love if they got such a letter too?

It all has to go in this as it’s the only one I will write.

[ldrbreakup]

I'm not entirely sure about the relationship you guys have or his personality. I think it's best you write what comes to your mind because it's more genuine. I would think you should update him on your current situation, what your plans for life are and ask to catch up with him to see if you guys are on the same page. I don't know if all out confessing your feelings for him would turn him off since I don't know him, but do what you think is best to be able to start a conversation with him again.

[OhioJim]

One thing that is FAR MORE important in an LDR is open and honest communication.

Write that letter. Tell him how you feel from the heart and, as ldrbreakup said, fill him in with recent events.

Writing him and being rejected is far better than playing the "if only" game for the rest of your life. A rejection is immediately over. "If only" will pester you for the rest of your life.

[MsGrim]

YESS! Write that letter. Ask yourself what is there to lose.. and then ask what is there to potentially gain? A friend? A love? Both are a win in my book.

[thrwyhk]

I'm not entirely sure about the relationship you guys have or his personality. I think it's best you write what comes to your mind because it's more genuine. I would think you should update him on your current situation, what your plans for life are and ask to catch up with him to see if you guys are on the same page. I don't know if all out confessing your feelings for him would turn him off since I don't know him, but do what you think is best to be able to start a conversation with him again.

This is also my primary concern and I've thought a lot about how crazy I am going to look. But I guess that coming out of the woodworks after such a long time is going to look suspicious any which way, so I might as well just be as honest as I can.

As we currently have no relationship, I can only tell you what we were like - and that was young and pure, adventurous and emotionally intimate. I felt like I could do anything with him by my side. I just hope he remembers me that way too.

[thrwyhk]

One thing that is FAR MORE important in an LDR is open and honest communication.

Write that letter. Tell him how you feel from the heart and, as ldrbreakup said, fill him in with recent events.

Writing him and being rejected is far better than playing the "if only" game for the rest of your life. A rejection is immediately over. "If only" will pester you for the rest of your life.

Thankyou, I know I am overthinking this because he always used to tell me to say what was in my heart too. It's been too long already, I just hope he replies.

[MsGrim]

I just hope he replies.

Please keep us updated, I would love to know how this turns out. I am a hopeless romantic <3

[Atlantic Crossroads]

You got me with this line: "I felt like I could do anything with him by my side".

This is how I feel with my man. I'd never experienced that before being with him.

[thrwyhk]

You got me with this line: "I felt like I could do anything with him by my side".

This is how I feel with my man. I'd never experienced that before being with him.

Well... maybe everything but a long distance relationship back then.

Hopefully there will be a round two to change that exception though...

[thrwyhk]

I just wanted to let you guys know that I haven't sent this letter yet...

As I just got an email from him.

I am beyond stunned. He is single. And yes, he sounds for the most part, just like how I remembered him.

[Atlantic Crossroads]

I just wanted to let you guys know that I haven't sent this letter yet...

As I just got an email from him.

I am beyond stunned. He is single. And yes, he sounds for the most part, just like how I remembered him.

He emailed you whilst you were still writing to him?
Sounds like the universe passed on your thoughts.

Is it strange that I'm really excited and happy on your behalf?