A bit of a situation...

[folclor]

it's no secret that sometimes I overreact. Because of past experiences and past relationships sometimes I have panic attacks over admittedly stupid things and I realize, after those moments are over, that it's not as big a deal as I originally thought. Alex had a horrible day yesterday and chose to spend the night at a friend's house and, because of this, I knew he needed to destress and game which didn't include talking to me. So I understand, I don't hold hard feelings toward him. I'd had a fairly stressful day myself and my stress relief is talking things out, mainly with him. So I was a slight bit upset last night after he and I exchanged a few lines of text (then again, he said some of the sweetest things in a long time and I know he felt horrible for not talking, even though I told him it was fine).

Instead I started talking to a mutual friend because he noticed I was feeling a bit down and wanted to help cheer me up if he could. I don't mind talking to him, he's a nice guy, and he usually knows his boundaries (plus he's interested in someone else so I have no issue talking to him). However, the friend was asking me what would make me feel better and I told him that, really, the only thing that would make me feel better would be cuddling with Alex, being with him, etc. the friend (I'll call him 'P' for annonymity purposes) said, "Well, I know it's not the same, but *cuddles*" Now, it's a text action, yes, but it's a text action reserved for my boyfriend. It's not something I do with anyone else. I've NEVER done that with anyone else. So I told him that was off limits and he backed off. Then, we were talking later into the night and he was saying things like, "He's not good for you if he's not communicating with you" which wasn't even the issue. He does communicate, he just didn't last night. >.>

so now I'm not sure that I want to talk to this friend anymore, but I'm wondering if I'm just overreacting on this end. =/

[JoMarie]

I would talk to him and let him know that he made you slightly uncomfortable. I would also let him know what YOU think alex is Perfect for you and you don't quite care about his opinion. I would also let him know that you would appreciate him not talking about your relationship with alex like that anymore. It may seem a little harsh but I find that it is a fantastic way to keep your boundaries quite clear.

I wouldnt say you being upset at a friend for making you uncomfortable an over reaction. I hope you can work it out!

[LadyMarchHare]

Well I don't read the cuddle thing as an issue, but I think it was the underlying context of you wanted boyfriend intimacy, not just general intimacy, that probably has you reading it as more. As for his other comment, that's not his place and he needs to know it. Like you said, that wasn't even the issue so that shows that, really, this guy's not listening or just assumed something from an entirely different problem.

[Karringtyn]

Sometimes friends have no clue what to say when we are hurting. Sounds to me like his "cuddle" was to just offer you a simple hug to help cuz that's what you needed. I dont see that as anything harmful.

People can have their opinions and he stated his. As harsh as it was I think he was just telling you what he felt....maybe he feels close enough to you to be able to tell you he worries. At any rate...I would just talk to him...face to face and say something like "Listen the comment the other night...let's talk about it." It's a mature thing to do...work it out..and let it go. If it's a good friendship...don't overeact....try to keep it.

[lisaar910]

Sometimes friends have no clue what to say when we are hurting. Sounds to me like his "cuddle" was to just offer you a simple hug to help cuz that's what you needed. I dont see that as anything harmful.

People can have their opinions and he stated his. As harsh as it was I think he was just telling you what he felt....maybe he feels close enough to you to be able to tell you he worries. At any rate...I would just talk to him...face to face and say something like "Listen the comment the other night...let's talk about it." It's a mature thing to do...work it out..and let it go. If it's a good friendship...don't overeact....try to keep it.

I completely agree with Luce here. I don't think your friend meant anything by any part of the conversation but was just trying to comfort you. Since it bothered you, I think you should talk to him about it just to clear the air to make you feel more comfortable about it so the friendship isn't later strained from this. Assuming the conversation goes well, I don't see any reason to worry about it any further.

[Mio]

I would talk to him so he understand that you are in a happy relationship and that you are not looking for anything with anybody else. And if he don't get it, then avoid him.

[Zephii]

The best gift a friend can give you is their honest opinion and their support. He gave you both, even if it wasn't what you wanted to hear, or in a way you were entirely comfortable with. Take his advice on board, then make your own decisions and let it go. I hope both you and Alex feel better soon.